What do you do when you feel your heart start to sink?
Lower and lower
Deeper and deeper.
What do you do when your thoughts start to consume your mind?
Bit by bit
Inch by inch.  
Loving so hard it's scary.
Loving so much it's easy.
Allowing yourself to believe that everything will be okay
That everything will always remain the same.  
What do you do when it starts happening to you ?
It's hard to stop
Dangerous to continue, yet fueling your heart with this poison love
Feels so good.
Almost safe.
Sounds surreal ?
It's life with love.
Life with heartbreak.
Life with risks not knowing when it's worth taking that leap.
That sudden panic
The lies that lay within the mouth of another
So therapeutic, yet so deceiving.
What do you do when it suddenly consumes you ?
When you become it?
When it becomes you ?
Love so confusing
Love so empowering
Love so dangerous its safe.
We all do it
The thirst of it is so quenching to our bleeding hearts.
Yet why does it somehow tear us all apart?

I'm so tired of the *******. I'm so tired of always allowing myself to fall for the same nonsense. So I blame myself, myself for giving my heart up so easy every single time. I promise I'm a smart individual. I just lack intelligence on love. Then again, no one masters the art of love. Still, I can't make up excuses. It takes two, me as well as you. My vains pump hurt to my heart. My brain bleeds depression. My body is weak from crying night after night. All I want is to be in love with someone who values me as much as I do them. How am I dead yet alive? How do I continue to smile when i have nothing to smile for? I can't imagine what I could have done to be the ground you walk on. I can't imagine what I've done to make you want to hurt me. I just can't imagine. My tears are now frustration. My love is now hate. My life is no longer mine. I'm so lost that I can even find myself. Distraught and buried alive by my own heart. I've failed myself. I gave one too many chances. Never allowing myself to learn that chances do multiply. I'm sorry. I apologize not to you for losing me. But to myself who I've let down once too many. I'm sorry.

Night after night
Tears after tears
Scared of being alone
Scared of loving myself.
deception.
The hidden truth
The truth that burns a hole through your heart
Why do I continue to love you?
Why do I stay and continue to be another lover?
I deserve to be the only
Or am I not worthy
Stomach in knots all throughout the night
Wondering
Pondering
Where could you be?
For I know you're not with me.

I can’t hear anything but my own thoughts.
I can’t feel anything but my aching heart. 

I can’t see anything but my own scars. 

I’m numb to life.
I’m numb to it all.

What have I done to bleed so hard?

What have I done to become so distraught?

Who have I become?

Where has my love vanished?

Why has my heart stopped?

How can I go on without the whispers of my heart?

What have I done?

I’m tired of feeling numb.