i want to distance myself from you
i want to be that green light --
                 near yet unreachable
ignore me
pretend i'm not here
and i won't expect anything from you
(i already don't)

i don't shine as brightly as anyone else;
in truth, i am a burnt out candle
out of wax
smoking and burnt but utterly
useless
to anyone
especially myself.

i know i don't matter
the hard part is being in a group of people
pretending that you matter
when a quick glance from any outsider will illuminate the truth:
they are a group
and you are a singular you
and you do not belong

to be honest, it's hard to pinpoint the beginning
of the invisible man
when you're pretty certain no one has ever seen you
you used to try too hard
and now you don't try at all.

perhaps the most detestable fact lies in that
i can not ever truly
break away
i can not sustain myself without companionship
but i am not one who
deserves it

the invisible boy; the contradiction