It's frustrating when myself is never to be found.
When I look so diligently
and my passions make the slightest intonation

I look in obsessions that I call a benefit
I enshrine myself alive
I submerge my passions
I am underground
I am drowning above expectations

I am everywhere when I am alone
and when I am alone I am everywhere
Or atleast that is how the antithesis goes
Frankly, I must be lost.

What had found me before has fled to hide
And the doors that have opened
have had broken hinges for far too long
What doors that have closed
I wish to nudge open once more but only for a moment.
Driven by a mad curiousity; anxious.

With a moment I will come and go
with a moment I will remember
and with a moment I will forget and let it be.

I am blinded by what I see too often
What I never see I wish to leave as is

It should not be with me
it should be finding where it belongs

I will recapture myself gloriously
I will dig myself out of my own life
I will put this shovel to the heal these glory days
Nothing is reborn, but transformed.

What was old is never new
and what was said and done
will never rise up
unless given a shovel.