Please don't call me darling,
It gets right on my ****,
You might think your being clever,
But I really don't like it.

Please don't creep up behind me,
And grab hold of my *******,
You could just try to talk to me,
Not prompt a cardiac arrest.

Please don't **** beneath the covers,
And hold my head underneath,
It's really just not ****,
And makes me sick behind my teeth.

Please don't hold me on the floor,
Mercilessly tickling my toes,
My bladders not what it used to be,
I don't want to scream and wet my clothes.

Please do treat me like a lady,
If it's not to much to ask,
Or I might decide I've had enough,
And kick out your annoying ****!