I fell in love, with loves young dream,
My hopeful heart had dared to beam,
With rose tinted glasses upon my eyes,
This seemingly perfect, of all guys,
Was everything I dreamed he'd be,
Well, up until he proved that he,
Was not that man, oh silly me,
So please beware, you have been told,
Not all that glitters, is true gold.

There is such intimacy in ***,
Particularly *** with someone new,
Swapping spit with some one else,
Seems a strange thing to want to do,
Touching someone else's skin,
The tingling feel of lust,
Their hands across your rising hips,
their lips upon your bust,
Fleeting waves of passion,
Joining mind body and soul.
Mad pursuit towards one goal,
Bonding, becoming whole,
Naked setting passion free,
Is vulnerable beyond belief,
But when we suffer from trapped wind,
We hold tight and grit our teeth,
If you can get on farting terms,
It brings such sweet relief,
Running out the room each time,
You want to let one go,
Or pinching cheeks together,
It's difficult you know,
It takes more time ,if you care to linger,
Before you can say, hey, pull my finger,
And laugh together at the noise,
And appreciate, girls will be boys :)

I'm smarter than the average bear,
Even though I have blonde hair,
I really do not miss a trick,
So do not treat me like a *****,
Or you will find, as time does pass,
I might well bite you on the ****!

My heart is broken,
A fleeting lover,
Don't think I'll ever love another,
I knew it from our very first meet,
My heart went pow and missed a beat,
We exchanged numbers, contact began,
He drove 3 hours to visit me, this man,
Although fair distance kept us apart,
Intense weekends spent, he won my heart,
I opened my soul and let him in,
He felt the same, I'm sure he did,
We carefully helped each other recover,
From our previous messed up lovers,
He planted tulip bulbs where I took Dads ashes,
We shared a healthy love of passion,
We laughed a lot, and shared our fears,
And looked ahead, into future years,
Difficult times shared within our pasts,
We exorcised and freed them at last,
Then one day, right out of the blue,
An email came, my mind it blew,
Tears rolled down my face as I read his words,
I was sobbing like a little girl,
My dreams , like him, had blown away,
Patiently I hope, that soon one day,
He once again may come my way,
This man I loved, for too few days.

Even though, deep in your mind,
Your fearful of what you might find,
A woman's instinct sound and true,
Can even shout and scream at you,
Yet heart rules head, we know the score,
The clues are there, yet we still ignore,
Holding onto our loves young dream,
Rumours rife, yet still won't believe,
Evidence waved, right under our snouts,
But still we just can't kick him out,
Cut him some slack, a bit more rope,
He'll hang himself, the useless dope.

I have a schoolboys sense of humour,
Oh yes it's true, it's not just rumour,
I always laugh at bums and willys,
It's immature and very silly,
I cannot help my humours taste,
I try to keep it above the waist,
Yet down the slippery ***** I slide,
This 'Carry-On" sense of humour of mine,
Farts, poos, **** the crudest jokes,
Belong much more to bad *** blokes,
Double meaning things that people say,
Is my specialist subject anyway,
Even though I know it's daft,
I do enjoy a ****** laugh :)

I really wish bedtime would come,
Yawning like Bagpuss on ******,
If I wasn't so tired, I'd go up now,
But I'm such a ****** lazy cow,
I could be sleeping like a log,
But don't like to disturb the dog,
The snoring mutt, an 8 stone lump,
I'm praying that he needs a dump,
My legs are numb, can't feel my toes,
And I really need to blow my nose,
At least I know the time will come,
When to bed I drag my weary ***.