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Dec 2023
Starving and overeating, and yet I drink up every curse spoken to me,
The probing and the preening cause me to overthink that love has no meaning.
It is empty.
Cry baby, cry, I will give you a reason to cry. Blows landing on my back making me want to die.
My "mother's love" ain't how it is supposed to be. The hate in her eyes are all that she gave to me.
This baby bird, for too long, yearns to fly,
but the chains on its back prevents it to try.
Noose around its neck till it grows old and dies, but even then the expectations still hold in mother's eyes.
Cry baby, cry, you have no reason to cry.
I don't care if your heart is slowly breaking inside.
My "father's pride" may cause the death of me. The truth of the matter is that he never wanted me.
"That's why we had kids."
What to be your little slaves?
"Clean the house, wash the floors, no you can't go play!"
"What did you say? Are you talking back?"
Trying to hide my tears while my sister watches, so my sister can see that I may be bruised, beaten, and bleeding
But my spirit never faltered.

Enduring this for years can really wreak your life.
Sitting in hiding, if I am out of sight then I am out of mind.
Slowly, the body becomes a lifeless shell, and yet my heart still burns in the hells.
Everyday is the same, nothing every changes
If I try to speak my mind then I am told
"I will beat your face in"
" I won't care if you die, if you try to break this family up"
The words out of his mouth is something I had never even thought of.
Despite the abuse of so many years, I still find a place in my heart that truly does care.
Even in the end I don't understand how my brain works.
I guess masochism is my only good trait in the end.
Amy Childers
Written by
Amy Childers  21/F/Missouri
(21/F/Missouri)   
288
 
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