I am just five years old Unable to escape knowing too much I cannot tell why everything is so heavy But still I choose to carry it I am just twelve years old Splitting open my skin Under the guise of control And dripping with self disgust Screaming at the world DOES ANYONE HEAR ME PLEASE CAN ANYONE SEE ME PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO DIE I am just fifteen years old Lying because I can And getting away with it too Touched by the wrong hands Empty inside And I'm not sure that I care Even when I return to my bed and do not feel safe inside of it At least somebody is touching me I am just eighteen years old My fathers words exploding out of my mouth I hate the way I used to speak to my mother
At almost twenty years old I have learned to swallow my self loathing
I cannot unbecome her I cannot **** her I can only embrace her