lost in mysterious shades
no aid to what I have played
(myself)
falling into an illusion
the pursuit of love
there's no need to desire if it's all around
yet, I'm alone in bed wanting to hold someone to sleep
the memories are deep
I question what I truly seek
practicing everyday to communicate feelings
art is the result
expression through mediums
I've always known.. this is what I would do
there's no room for people like me, so I'll remain in solitude
(i have so many new posters to hang up)
my week has been weird, I sleep a lot these days... it's not that I want to... I wake up and lay... think... long for her...
my eyes slowly begin to close until...
IT'S ******* 1 PM AND I THINK TO MYSELF... I COULD'VE BEEN DOING ****...
(I reason with myself..."you do work from 10 to 3am...every night of the week)
I'm not used to my schedule
growing up after college kind of *****... where I want to be will take some work
(mostly financially)
a stable job... my own place... solitude... good ****...
soon.. I hope
I've been doing my best to overcome yesterdays "self"
even though I know ultimately there is no "self"
little day by day accomplishments drives the human
let me be human with inconsistent reasoning and carelessnes... I'll learn from it
... and also be nothing.. at the same time?
isn't it all the same
anyway, it's 4:39 am and I always wonder why I'm so drawn to specifying the time in some of my poems
it's not that deep... I promise
maybe I should be the first person to introduce cubist poetry??
could that be a thing??
just write about different times in my life in a "poetic manner" and jumping to when I was 10 years old busting my first nut
the internet was weird for me those days
soccer compilation vids of my idols and ****
(writer later on becomes a monster and commits suicide)
(in my dreams)
anyway
these days... I feel alive, I was talking to this girl but I know... it won't work
time requires some entertainment and I'm just... a ******* when it comes to feeling something for someone other than who I'd want to... start a family with...
I know right
those hopes have evaporated into nothingness and I'm here... I'm capable
different people make me realize different things about myself
that's why I choose to expose myself... their way of being changes when I let them know... it's okay to be, no pressure
no ego
we're just a **** load of atoms... communicating
(I don't want to believe in anything)
I want to learn so many instruments
stringed
percussion
****
I'm on a good track.... I believe
I wan't to write my parents symphonies
and the girl I miss...
I always comeback to that
thinking about what to type
live for my wrongs to make them right
go through the dark to get to the light
fear no repercussions, out of perspective sight
I feel like I've gone off track
it's been a long day
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow
I might go get some kolaches later... my spot opens in 4 minutes
should.. I leave now???
mm.... I'll give it 30 minutes
after I post this I may lay down and fall asleep though
I never have the desire to eat in the morning
gives me more time to plan what I'm going to stuff my face in later on
intermittent fasting bro
I hear you can sell your art via crypto currency...I've also made research about how it's bad for the environment???
weird... but I want to give the future generations more time to solve modern day dilemmas... like that ****
it'd be dumb if I fell asleep mid sentence and my computer died... I'm actually pretty tired... I closed my eyes for 10 seconds and thought 30 minutes had gone by... I'm... hungry though (lol)
I think I will go out for those kolaches after ******* all (as my eyes close slowly)
I'm here... awake...listening to Polyphia
getting hype
this solo
how the ****??
my days are numbered
so are yours
we will all vanish... every word people say about us after we're gone means nothing but will be missed somehow
I'm going to end it here
the poem
hahaha
I have... a lot to live for
finally