i hated the phrase
'beautifully broken'
as i thought it was a lie
that romanticized pain

until i was broken myself
and learned it's beauty
is not the alluring aesthetic
you're familiar with

the "quiet" isn't delicate
it's emptiness
from draining of hope

the "gentleness" isn't grace
it's exhaustion
from endless futile fighting

the "wisdom" isn't elegant
it's burdening
from innumerous failures

the "peace" isn't content
it's feeling nothing
from once feeling everything

the "simplicity" isn't simple
it's the remains
from the chaos that broke you

and all that you are
and all that you have
are those tender remains
from the chaos that broke you

29.06.20