All it took was an apple
to bring down
The Most Beautiful Girl in the World

huh

When I grew up
She was the head cheerleader
and I often thought about throwing
apples at her head
but instead, I quietly contemplated
how a baseball bat
would make my point instead

I was forever hated

Cinderella had mice and birds
and all kind of vermin
bring her up to speed
with a beautiful dress
and a pumpkin coach

But instead of planting a big wet one
on the Prince of her dreams
who was really just a wet noodle
in her arms, it seems
She turned tail and ran
at the first sign of romance
and I bet her bare feet,
on the way out,
squashed more than one roach

Rapunzel had her golden hair
that could have easily been
a noose around her neck
But instead she used it to trap
Men like flies
Notice it was never her ****
that hit the deck!

Never more a worthless ****
of all the stories of yore
was Sleeping Beauty
who waited for a prince to come
unconscious the whole time
and just as oblivious
to the perilous journey
AND the responsibility that HE bore

yawn

Want to hear the one
about a girl who by no means
had any looks?
She had intelligence
noted by all the books
She had street smarts
by virtue of hiding at home
She had an even uglier stepfather
that never left her alone
Her long dark hair
and soulful eyes
brought all the boys to her side
No two toads were alike
and a kiss was too steep
a price to pay
for such a scary ride

She tried to sleep forever
until one day
her life might become better
But she awakened and
the scars she made
won't let her

ever forget

*the Fairytale
ain't real