[trigger warning: mention of self harm]

Let go of the sharp metal,
and throw away the pills.
Start collecting rose petals,
and appreciating cheap thrills.
This is how I died— without actually dying.

I removed all the toxicity
found in this silent vicinity.
And I turned to my laptop screen
The wallpaper was you with a grin.

That moment I knew,
I knew it well.
It was you—

For whom I fell.
I loved you deeper,
with a greater force.
But it was really bitter
when you confirmed my hopes were false.

You stood by her,
Your warm hand protecting hers from the cold air,
You clearly are a great lover,
But why am I on despair?

So dear, this is for you,
Who made me feel dead while
breathing—
who made me feel dead without actually
dying.