it comes and goes
no clear pattern
no clear reason
it's here one moment
then gone the next

there's so much
I want to say
but i don't know
how to say it
how to get it out

it's stuck within me
trapped, yearning
for an escape, a glimpse
of what the world might be like
if i knew what to do

but the thing is
i don't know what to do
nobody really knows
what they're supposed to do
what i'm supposed to do

here i sit
tapping out words
trying to focus my feelings
into something that
can be understood

understood
not just by
the people who
happen to see it
and make my numbers rise

but no
understood
by me
because i don't understand
myself

in my life
i've been creative
and changed who i am
to fit who i was
"supposed to be"

acted happy because
i was too young to be sad
acted amused when
it was the wrong time
to be depressed

acted strong
when it was stupid
to be weak
acted mature
when i was still just a kid

but now
i'm not creative enough
to write
or to act
and i don't know who to be

i know what i want
but is it what i want,
or is it only  
what i'm supposed to want?

how come
when it came to
pretending to be
someone else
it was so easy

but now
that i'm trying to discover
who i am
i cannot?
who am i?