I weigh more than I have ever weighed
And I've never been more afraid.

The voices are louder than ever before
You're fat, you're ugly, a failure for sure

You'd think I know these are all lies
That this would just render many sighs.

But it doesn't.

It's pain, it's suffering, it's absolute hell
On these thoughts I continue to dwell

Tears are shed.

If I objectively weigh more
Than I ever have before
How can I disagree with the voices in my head?
More tears are shed.

Fix it, fix it! My mind berates.
Weight loss is your impending fate.
Not to lose too much, don't worry
A couple of pounds, you'll be fixed in a hurry.

I'm trying
to not
listen.

But on the cusp of believing it's true.
Restriction and exercise is all I'll have to do.
Control, control
Something I desperately want.

But I must stay strong
And keep holding on
And try to avoid trying to fix this.

I want to be a role model
For younger girls
Accept your body
it's as precious as a pearl

Its imperfections make it beautiful.
You do not have to look a certain way
Or worry about what you weigh
You are worth so much more than that
You deserve so much more than that
Believe in yourself, and start a new day