Saturday/Sunday morning. Sun rose up from behind the trees. Over did it last night. Door bell rings and the sound you hear is so razor sharp that it guts and mutilates your dreams and suddenly, you're rudely awakened. Muster yourself out of bed. Open the door in your underwear. Sunlight blasts your dilated eyes. Two well dressed alter boys are at your front steps. The local place of worship sent for recruiters to fill up their pockets with non exempt tax dollars. They've got "The Book" in one hand. Pamphlets in another. Well prepared. Here with only one purpose. One goal in mind. Persuasion. The morning vampires. Just like you were the night before when engaging in such debauchery. Bothersome irritants of the weekend daybreak. They've already judged you up and down before they say their first word. Feasting eyes see a blood doughnut to sink their teeth in and inject "the word" into your veins so fast it'll make you nauseous. Well worded tongues. 20 year old virgins, who want to talk to you about life. Something they know nothing about or have ever experienced. Only what they've been told. At this point, in your irascible state of mind and hungover conditions. Natural reaction is like a hornets nest. Scream obscenities, shoe them off and slam the door in their faces. They're numb to this rejection. They'll just move on to the next house. But what if you caught them by surprise? You said, "yes" and invited them inside your home. Now you've caught them with their pants down. They're not use to this kind of hospitality from outsiders. Be cordial. Coffee or tea? One lump or two? Have a seat on the couch. Make yourself comfortable. **** them with kindness. Let them talk but don't let them overtake. They're in your house. Full of sins and vices. An honest man is always in trouble. You begin the debate. You believe in one thing, they believe in another. Disagree with everything they say. If they tell you hell is all fire and brimstone. You tell them it's a frozen wasteland. Peddlers of the higher power are like painters, putting on the first coat of Bible verses, in hopes that they'll stick to the walls of your ear canals. You listen but you don't feed upon. Careful onslaught responses. Turn everything they're saying around. Send them spiraling into a vortex of absurdity. You've debunked what they believe to be is true. Fairytales are fairytales. Women being subsidiary to a man is obsolete. They preach about an ancient book that is no longer relevant to the modern world. Go against the grain. They may not know it. You may not know it. But you're doing them a service. Getting them to think outside the box. Open their mind from their sheltered upbringing. Free thinkers. Believe what they want to believe. Not the spoon fed lectures and implausible sermons that have been handed down. They listen but not going to let a little thing like "sense" get in the way of what's been ingrained inside their thick skulls. Thank you for your time. Come over next week and we'll talk again. They move over to the next house. In one ear, out the other. Preaching the same word. Wasted time. Story of my life. Back to bed.