I wish
oh god, how I wish
that I never latched on to every word you said
the hum of your voice kept my heart beating

and god, how I wish
I never caught your eye
I wish you hadn't put your arm around my shoulders
and I wish I never crawled into your bed
and slept through the night
next to the warmth of you

I wish we hadn't spent those long hours in the night
staying up so long, just to talk
just to be together
I wish I would have just slept on the living room couch instead

I wish I never widened the cracks in my heart
just enough to let you in
it became too full, too fast
and now it is bursting in pain.
infected.

I wish I never invited you in.
I wish we had never been lovers.
I wish we had just stayed friends.