Never saying the right words.
Never being the one heard.
I lay awake buzzing. My body bounces on the bed. I bang my head.
Slowly I start to stick in a slippery ***** of my mind. Falling so fast farther into time.
Swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe
Slowly fading out as the continual motion of your phone screen moving back and forth makes your eyes glaze over and you take another step deeper into your head.
Am I manic
Am I sad
Am I normal
Why do I get like this
Tears slide down my face as I read a conversation in a way that makes me feel the pain.
My breathing picks up and suddenly I can't get enough
Gasping flailing and needing someone to anchor you down.
But
There is no one around.

Because In your spiral into the dark you hurt their hearts, and now they don't want to be around you.
You are too much to handle you say too many things that shouldn't be said.
But it's only to get them out of my head.
Maybe then I can get out of bed
Where I've been for endless hours doing nothing
Listening to my thought if they are there.
Today I'm just a sad blank stare.