To my friends

I laugh a lot

I always smile

And grin

And grin some more.

I always joke around

And laugh at everything I see

I act

Happy.

Filled with joy

And all that

was to hide my sorrows. And to make them disappear.

It was a habit I couldn't stop.

When ever I said, "I'm going to act serious today."
When something bad happened to me I said, "I'll tell my friends. I'll cry." "I'll show them my inner."

But I always end up smiling and laughing. I just can't help but doing that. Not being serious.

Even when I tell a sad story or explain depression, I smile.


And maybe that was wrong.

Maybe I should've showed them my inner.

Maybe then my friends wouldn't know me as just a silly girl who laughs everyday.

Because friends,

I have what's called feelings too.

I have what's called dark past.

I have experienced death with family.

6 of them.

You might have never known.

The dark side of your friend.

That friend who giggled and laughed and smiled and leaned on you and always seemed happy.

I know what misery is!

I too have kept secrets from you all!

I......

I have feelings, okay?