why do i keep doing this
to become and unbecome
at the same time

i want to change
yet i want to be the same
i want to go
yet i want to stay
i keep telling myself to do it
but i always find reasons not to
i keep pushing myself to let go
but i find reasons to hold on


i want to be me
but i don't know who i am
i want to change the world
but i'm the one who needs saving


**here i am screaming
without letting myself be heard