I know I'm sinking,
but what is to stop me?
like the marker on my arm,
my color washes down the drain.
my personality dulling from conforming to society.
a catastrophic casualty of my personality.
my will ground out into the colorless dust,
that makes the deserted blue-grey of my eyes-
spreading into the everlasting dark rings underneath.
an opaque window into the dissolution that lies beneath.

shadows dance over my features.
yet, they change nothing of my appearance.
they encourage the facade that I am whole.
A well-timed excuse--
for the shadow of my former self that I have become.
For if I am to hide within my former shadow,
who is to say which is the real culprit-
of their misfortune?

My mind is blank.
hazy from the shadows,
and the complacency of their words.
my heart is heavy,
bursting and distended.
past the point of reconciling with my mind-
to improve its health.
it is now dysfunctional.

My mind has taken over-
the logical aspect of my emotions,
and now a battle ensues.
will it be a stubbornness blinded by chaos
that wins out
against the alleged adaptation of change?
or,
will ideology block out the senseless perplexity of emotions,
that wander disgruntled
into the path of innovation,
that will win out overall?
who will prevail?

or rather,
which half will change-
to hide within the shadows?