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Sep 2011
In through the nose
Breathe out from the mouth,
Breath the same as the air that surrounds

Warmth lines my throat,
My feet lead the way
The doors at the end seem a mile away

Sleepy eyes and weak shoulders
I lean to the right,
Re-balance my weight
To the other side

June blows through my hair
Oh, how freedom feels close
I breathe it in again,
Take in the finality of the end
Just how many days?
Only ten

To think back to a time
In the recent past
I was young and
I was wrong and
I was going way too fast

I do recall the door that
I slammed upon the past
And how the future was contained
In honey comb window glass

To take the first steps in
On uneven pavement,
Just walking was
A balancing act of
Who I was and
Who I thought I should be

In through the nose
Breathe out from the mouth
Breath a lot warmer
Than the air that surrounds

Crisp leaves are starting to fall by,
Little did I know, so was I

The year it did pass
I’m baffled as to how
This small, naïve girl
Grew into who she is now
Frail and fragile she was
And a little bit pale
Wrapped in a small, blue dress
With surrounding wind so stale

With big eyes full of wonder
Yet taken down by influence
Straight hair and summer
And a loss of innocence

And it’s lost against her will
And taken by the influential acts of all
How could someone live
In such a big world and not at least feel small?

Trace the patterns of the year
That lie beyond horizon and fear
Try to plan what happens next
And think how much better
Things will get

In through the nose
Breathe out from the mouth
Breath is scalding hot
Against the air that surrounds

Her mind swims with
Confusion and doubt
But somehow she lives
Through the year and gets out

She’s changed by the boy
With the tattoos and blonde hair
And hurt by the girls who
Pretended she wasn’t there

She grins and she bears it
And is still tied together
But the freezing and the thawing
Is beginning to weather

The knots in the rope
That bind herself as a whole
It starts breaking apart
As she breaks the mold

Her mother still assures her
The whole entire truth
Yet she’s still trapped
Among the tangled bindings of youth

Nothing anyone could say
Would make her change her mind
Cause she was so enveloped
That she didn’t realize
She was wasting precious time

In through the nose
Breathe out from the mouth
Breath is just a bit warmer
Than the air that surrounds

At this point
It seems as though all of this is right
She can’t believe the strides she’s made,
How she’s managed every night

Of falling into bed
With a pillow damp from tears
Picking up an old guitar
And tearing down her fears

Yet still scared to show that boy
What she really thinks
He moves on and so does she
But her feelings still pour
Atop lined paper
In melodies and blue ink

Summer flies by in a flash of sun
And so does all of a year
Until it all hits her in March
And she starts to release
Her remaining fear

Don’t get her wrong
Fear still lies at the base
Of her very being,
But she shakes it off
Through merely song
And she’s home,
Back to the beginning

She no longer senses
A need to try
When she finds herself in that home
The others enable her to fly

They lift her spirits
With honesty
And the idea of
I don’t care,
So she takes a plunge into the water
And lets down her long hair

She tucks a pink flower
Behind her ear
And listens to their stories
Of glory and pain and triumph
And plain and utter fear

What’s so beautiful about this is
The fact that the same is done for her
With a feeling of true acceptance
Comes the healing of the burns
And the scars that were left
By the pain of days darker than
The darkest sky

She’s through with all the questions
That incessantly ask why

There’s fear for the future
And some regret from the past
But you have to live now
To make it all last
It goes fast

In through the nose
Breathe out from the mouth
Breath is perfectly aligned
With the air that surrounds

She glances to the left
And squints to see
The people who knew all along,
The people that guided her to be free

Straight up ahead,
As far as the eye can see,
Staggered blue and white
And scurrying, young feet

Anticipation for her name
To be called
And the slightest fear that
She just might fall

They hand her the scroll with
A shake and a smile
And those past years she’s lived
Race through her mind for miles

She’s dumbfounded and exuberant,
Yet sad to get out,
But amazed at her strength
In overcoming the doubt

Rows and rows of the people
Blue white, white blue
That feel all the same emotions as you
Her eyes are wide and bright at the sight
Of the white square
And dangling tassel
Floating past the sunlight

In through the nose
Breathe out from the mouth
Breath of relief
Pushes through the air that surrounds

She walks on the same pavement
That held her up back then
But it’s sturdier
And makes more sense
And won’t let her fall in

Tonight she dances
In a dress,
A dress that suits her well
And she feels this sense
Of everything is going to be okay,
She can tell.
Mackenzie Johnson
Written by
Mackenzie Johnson
731
   Ariadna Parrales
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