I thought this would be easier,
being that I have been unhappy for so long

The memories pour in
like a bad case of diarrhea

It disgusts me
that I spend anytime at all
Thinking that,
what we had wasn't so bad

I have spent countless moments
Pushing the merry-go-round
in my head, until I'm dizzy
And unable to stand on my own

The other day,
I wrote some pretty sappy ****
about our future

Like we really ever had that desire
I honestly couldn't say I aspired
for us to be one with each other

I've been fighting this inner struggle
For years, that I need to find a way
to solve our problems,
but the solution was always this one

I must fight to stay apart from you

I never truly let you in,
but I did get used to your presence in my life

Your dull, blue presence
That quenched any fire I tried to start