Welcome, welcome, one and all
To watch me Rise and watch me Fall

Though both at once? I cannot say...
The Status Quo changes day by day

Follow the path my choices make
And do not try to understand them, for your own sake

My mind, its' thoughts, worries, and desires
Is not a places for fools, evil, or liars

The words written here, foreword or crypt
Are written by me, my own script

If you can stand my sarcasm, whining, and glee
My hopelessness, anxiety, and desire to be free

Then welcome, welcome, one and all
To watch me Rise and watch me Fall

Breathe
Find your voice
It's why you're
Here
In this place
A place of
Crossing
Between two roads
The dark and the
Light
Filters through old
Yellowed parchment paper
As
She sings her song
Filled with longing and
Loss
Is not hard to master
Or so I'm told by
You
Begin with a little then
Let your loss grow on
Regret
Fills her gentle heart as
He fills the rest of her body
With
Himself, not intentionally, but
Only because that is what he
Wants
Drive us to the brink of sanity and
Throw us into pits of
Guilt
Eats away all that she
Is to become
She
Falls into a black cave
She cannot fall out of
But
She is not yours
She
Belongs only to herself
Not to what you think
Of
Her eyes burn with hate as
They scream in her ears
Chanting
You are not one, not one
You are not a part of
This
World is poisoned by
Smiles and laughter
Laced
With deceit and degradation
To its innermost core
It
Makes the stuff
Of our worst
Nightmares
Run rampant in her childlike mind
For she knows not who she
Is
There a reason for her isolation
A reason for her constant
Loneliness
Will not be the end of me
I will not lose myself
I am stronger than
Anything
Say anything
To let me have hope
That I am who I want to
Be
What you are, I
Will be who I am and
No one
Will ever bring me
Down
In the darkest pits of
My blessed Hell
The
Only thing I see
Is a beautiful, cursed, face,
You
Ohhh, yes, my darling, I
Love you too

It begins in our stomach
A turning,twisting knot
And it makes us fight it
The most hopeless fight ever fought

It rises to our chest
Compressing every breath
Eating away our heart
Making us believe it is death

It chills our clumsy hands
Now pale and clammy with a sweat
Fumbling, fluttering fingers
Triumph and goal never met

It slumps our wayward shoulders
Weak and brittle with the load
Falling for into our center
Our last defenses overrode

It slithers up the throat
Bile threatening the mouth
Lips trembling with fear
Now parting to the south

It finally finds our mind
It is over; we are lost
Desire has taken over
And we must have them, no matter the cost

This is a call to those
Who called me friend
I am not lost to you
It is not the end

We may have fought
I may have lost
I probably gave us up
With you the cost

I was angry
I had no hope
I was confused and broken
But I climbed back up my own rope

Now I stand on the mountain,
Finally free
I wish to start us over
I finally want to have a true "you" and "me"

So I extend olive branch back to you
I will not burn it, it will stay green and true

Just remember
I am not who you used to know
I am a person that will show my colors
That you may not want me to show

Sleep now my darling and
Dream a sweet dream
You shall hear laughter
While all others scream

Sleep now my darling and
Bathe in the light
You shall feel peace
While all others fight

Sleep now my darling and
Hope for the best
You shall be happy
While no others rest

Sleep now my darling and
Trust in my lies
You shall not doubt me
While the world slowly dies

Sleep now my darling and
Forget all you know
You will not suffer
While I deal every blow

Sleep now my darling and
Forgive me my sin and
You may know love
When my soul lets my body give in

But, Sleep now my darling and
Dream a sweet dream
You shall hear laughter
While all others scream

Fury,
flung, thrown, beat, bashed
Against Me
But
it’s never really enough,
my God. It is
Never
Enough. Stop talking.
It is all over now. Don’t
Try
to  justify your actions.
You are nothing compared to
Me
I am unflinching
and you are truly
Nothing
Inside his head.
It is all utterly
Dark
eyes bend towards his face.
Blazing with so much
Hatred
They scorch his smirk
cracking across porcelain cheeks. It is
False
love. lies. broken promises!
How can you look at yourself?!
How
can you believe in
Anything
is a reason for this.
Any reason to run away
and swallow stories
Whole
in him. She shines like a star.
She is alive she is beautiful she never dreams of
Revenge
Is rapture sweet.
Especially against you.
I will destroy you.
Your
porcelain smile will stay
Cracked.

Friendship
chatters like a chipmunk;
piercing into my ear
Again
and Again. Beating itself
Into me. Filling my mind,
Consuming
every last bit of me.
Every. Single.
Peace
is not something I
Find in Others. It is in
Me.
Only me. It is the Only
Piece I have.
I
have no love
I
have no loyalty
I
have no light
I
have no life
I
Am Nothing
except
That one worthy
Piece
by piece you
Tear me apart. You
Gut
me like a fish;
Ripping away my scales
Piece
by
Peace
by
Piece.
I
am Bleeding
I
am Naked
I
gave you my
Friendship
I
gave you my
Love
What else do you want.
No. I will not.
I
have only a little Left to give.
I have only my
Peace
and it is Not yous.

Lost
in the darkness.
Please, God, Please
Help
me. I am
Lost. I need
Hope
stolen. The fear
cracks across her
Face
as he stares
in her eyes and
Laughs,
Oh not to worry
my dear sweet child.
I
am just like you.
I
Am Just Like
You
*******. You Coward.
How could you do
This?
How could you do
This to me? Your
Love?
What Love?
There is no Love
Here.
All Alone. Someone.
God, someone. Please.
Help.
Someone come help me.
Someone come. Save me.
I.
I am Lost.

I love him, Trust me, I do
But do not forget, I loved you too
I have not lost your smiling face
It is just locked in a secret place
With all of our kisses, all of my wants
And all of our past's unending taunts
Yet some pain will not leave
No matter how much I love him, or how much I believe
That We Are Lost
But, when I see you smile, not at me
My heart beats fast, a caged bird desperate to be free
A poison creeps into my mind
And there are words I cannot grasp or find
I know we are over, and I Have moved on
Yet there is always a hole where you are gone
Still, I love him, with all my heart, Trust me, I do
But do not forget, I once loved you too

Desperation
is a snake in the grass
Lying motionless in wait,
praying
for you to stride past
so it can sink its
Teeth
In and taste your
Blood with its forked
Tongue
Wags back and forth,
Wiggling like a dying
Fish
in the fleshy mouth of her dead face.
She is pretending to be
Alive
by spreading this disease.
By telling all these Lies Lies
Lies
with her every night
while his Other one just
Paces
back and forth and back and forth
just trying to forget and
Deny
it all. It Is Not Real.
He loves the Other and would not
Break
him. These men with grasping
hands and violent eyes. They
Hurt
me so I will hurt them.
I will never be ripped apart
Again.
Please, let him come to me again.
I cannot live without his
Love.
It can only be him. I am lost.
Only his love can be my guiding
Light
fills her face, turned up in rapture, but
Who
does this?
Who
fills her heart?
Who
Saves her?
Will she accept any
Savior!
My Lord. I will serve only you.
As long as you love me, I am
Yours.

I am not a person
I am not a place
I am a Thing.
A Thing.
An It.
I am some Thing but
I am Nothing.
An It.
Alas,
I am just an It.

Dead.
You are not dead.
You are still here,
Alive
You are Alive!
Cant you see?
It will get
Better
buckle up tight.
It's gonna be
Rough
for you tonight
little darling, a real
Hard
swing left then right.
Move your feet.
Swing
again and again
takes those hits
Over
and through the mountains
He will follow
Me
kissing my hands
when he finally
Capture
this instant
Is that what you want?
This?
Do you want this?
It is short-lived.
It will be
Gone
where? but he can't
just leave. I will
Die
upon a cross?
No.
That is not for me.
Keep your cross.
I
am not dead
I
am alive.
I'm alive I'm alive I'm alive
I
will see the light
It will get
Better.
With only
Him.
With only
Her.
I am in love.
Nothing
will ever bring us down.
Nothing
will ever tear us apart.
It is better.
It did get better.

To see your face, to hear your voice
To feel so much happiness with no other choice
My mind is alive and you've set me free
You've let me become the person I wanted to be

Many nights ago
I thought that I was dreaming,
Only to wake now and find
That I was simply screaming