love is the ups and downs
of natural geography,
the only two feelings
when standing in the shadow of a mountain:  

1. your iris is the northern lights to me;
​
2. my freckles are grains of sand to you.

let's be realistic,
dear.

I guess we were never
in the same place
after all.

I'm not saying I'm in love with you, but I could be.
You're the person I want to tell about my day, and you're all the words I want to hear drag on in the dark of the night. You're the thoughts attached to my morning coffee and to my evening reflection.

I'm not saying I'm in love with you,
but I want to travel the world by your side, once, twice, even a third time. The first to see the world, the second to see you, and the third to realize you're one in the same.
I want to write in languages unspoken about the way your lips curve around mine, and I want you to drown me in your every movement. You're a tidal wave, and I'm all washed up.

I'm not in love with you,
but I'm so dangerously close.

I remember how you showed up at my door
and you knew I was weak in your presence.
You took my face in your hands,
and made me feel again.

You took me upstairs,
you showed me all the passion
we thought we had
forgotten.

Your flame burnt out and
I asked you to tell me that
you loved me, one more time.

I saw your shoulders slump
and that was the moment
I knew it was over.

***** doesn't make me sick
You do

I am fine, honestly. I've come so far from where I've been.
2. Look at my wrists. I told you I stopped.
3. Those aren't scars, it's just the lighting.
4. What? No, I wasn't crying. Idiot.
5. Of course I slept last night. Why wouldn't I have?
6. Yes, the nightmares stopped. I can breathe again.
7. I already ate. No thank you.
8. I'm finally over him, and I'm ready to fall in love again.
9. Don't worry. I am well enough to help you with your problems. I am okay.
10. I am safe. I wouldn't dream of hurting myself again.

I should have told you the truth. Maybe I wouldn't be in this lonely mess.

10. I'm not safe, and I need someone to take care of me. Please don't let me out of your sight. Something could get me, and that something could be me.
9. I'm sorry, I just can't help you. I can't even help myself. I'm afraid I'll make whatever you're going through worse. I just can't handle being at fault. Not again.
8. I don't think I will ever love anyone as much as I loved him.
7. I'm starving, but my God does it feel good.
6. I haven't slept for three days, and I can't see straight.
5. I can't sleep without you here.
4. I've been sobbing for hours. I know you heard me, and I know you don't give a ****.
3. I carved your name into my skin.
2. My wrists are clean to keep your questions at bay. Please don't check my thighs.
1. I have never felt worse than I do today. And I know tomorrow will be a new hell, and I would do anything to keep it from coming.

Anything.