i am standing in water
that is twelve feet deep
i cannot think of anything else
besides the serenity inside my mind
i have finally forgotten the pains
that use to drown my soul

you can learn a lot about love in your dreams..
your universe alters completely
along with the components of your lover
they’re different than you ever imagined they would be
but everything still feels so morally intact
you would never have begun to think twice about them
until you wake up screaming the wrong person’s name

my mind has deeply forgotten my relevance to the world
because these compulsive movements are beginning to engulf my sanity
but i loathe every second of not being able to feel something impossible
because i’ve been able to surge into the depths of my own soul
to prove that happiness can and will exist under the sensible psyche

always dark inside my head
the flowers chose somebody else instead
I don't belong where the sun will shine
night time may always be mine
the moon and stars are my only light
but I'm centuries away, with many plights
even the galaxies breathe in pure darkness -
billions of miles away, I know where my soul lives

even though you won't remember
I'd thought I'd let you know
that I've loved you since September
and through December snow
even when you're drunk as hell
the way your eyes look at me
believe in something I'll never tell
everything you are, consumes whoever I may be

creative mind but a more painted soul.
baby this is pure happiness, just stay with me
inside my head things are much better
follow me to my dreams i know you’ve been here before

every cigarette I've ever smoked made me weak
because every time I inhaled the fumes
it sank right into my heart
and seemingly found you

i cannot breathe when you speak because you express galaxies to my empty soul and i can never return the universe because you have engulfed me into your entire atmosphere that leaves me confused about my existence to your being

I’m uncomfortable with a crowded room
partly because there’re so many personalities mashing into one
and too many conversations being held out of spite
i’m restless to the idea of meaningful small talk
because I truly do not believe in it’s existence
no one is happy to be here
and we’re all drowning our sadness
in different ways that no one would ever know
we're forcing ourselves to become one
and I will never understand

lost in the forest
i've misplaced my mind
gone for so long
i can't figure out the time
my eyeballs dilate,
the mind becomes twisted
i'm living in hell
at least i'm consistent

No one wants to love you at 4 AM
because no one is awake
just go back
to that corner in your head
and find someone to love in your dreams
because baby no one loves you
why can't you get that through your head?
No one is awake to be loved - but you and your dreams

I stopped writing because I wasn't sad anymore.
I knew it didn't matter as much as I thought it did -
it never occurred to me that there was more to life than her,
and those hopeless ******* poems

there is so much hatred built up inside my heart I can never fully express it. I know nobody wants to hear the loathing my thoughts contain but **** sometimes we all want to be saved by someone other than ourselves.

I took ecstasy at Decadence
felt the music, heard the colors - hence,
I am the daughter of a God -
popped a pill and heard the call.
the poison in my veins
lets me know I'm the one to blame
for the blood the floods my brain
- can't you see these thick red chains?
I'm a master of emotions
but a servant to the potions
I'll add a tally to the list
what's one more to pure bliss?

the drugs that help you fall asleep
are the same ones
that haunt you in your dreams

I’m always looking for someone to save me -
so much loathing inside my soul it can never escape
it just spins and spins
that the depths of my mind are getting tired -
it only appears when I’m vulnerable enough to say I love you
so you know that you’re the one I wanted to save me all this time

do you finally feel good?
feel just the way you wanted?
cause empty wallets and irritated souls
got me feeling haunted
blank stares, over emotional questions
just relax
I can feel your vibe of stressin
not your fault, side effects are ******
when will it be the truth that you're actually quitting?
body mind and soul seamlessly connect
until it fades, and you're hopelessly wrecked
I may be in this mindset forever
the highs are just too good to ever get better

I keep waking up at different times during the night and seeing the aura of your ghost laying beside me - I never want to go back to sleep, but your soft voice soothes me so malignantly I cant help but fall into a dream where my only wish is to be with you

dying while dreaming
it sounds like corporate art
break bread with an infidel
and plunge into the dark

be my release
to this horrifying pain I feel within myself
because most nights
I am caught between such exasperating emotions
I cannot tell
how my thought process has unraveled itself onto my body
and I always thought you were the answer
to my liberation
but you were my constant confinement

i can't sleep without pumping pills into my body
i'm lying here
and everything i've ever ruined is stuck in my head
it just runs and runs my mind is endless
please make it stop
i'm starting to get a headache again
i can't even close my eyes the darkness is too much
so just give me some drugs i'll fall asleep quick
realizing my dreams are more than i'll ever be
make me want to sleep for an eternity

looking at the love of my life
my pupils continue to grow
to such an extensive point
they are doubtful my eyes hold any color
at all
but sometimes they are curious
when the trip has really faded
because every time I stare
at the love of my life
my heart has no choice
but to reflect my love
through the blackness of my pupils

what a beautiful soul
her heart beats among us
the way she breathes soothes your deeply troubled mind -
and she is so beautiful
the way her finger drags crystals along the soft surface of your skin
it drives you crazy
to a point where you begin to believe the sins you commit with her
are your most beautiful moments together
and when her tears drop like a rainstorm in the spring
it reminds you of home
because the deepest thoughts her mind orchestrates
have never made you feel so comfortable

i can't think of anything to say and that physically and mentally pains me so much i am spiraling into a non existing universe inside the depths of my own soul

what's one more
to an endless night -
my heart is broken, right down
to the core.
i might end it all, i might
i might i might

the cigarette smoke accumulating in my head
starts to degrade my thoughts over time
to a point where what I now know
contradicts with everything I've ever thought to believe true

I'm lost in my head again
god ******
my thoughts are so hauntingly endless
they make the galaxies look small

my breath weakens when you speak
because your soul radiates an energy
you know i cannot handle
but you do it anyway
because you love how weakly i crumble
under your malignant disposition

but with a couple drinks of *****
maybe you'll love me again
and we'll be together
but then again
being passed out on your bathroom floor
with pills in my stomach
only reiterates how hopeless and how crazy i am to only see you
in my drunken dreams