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Madame Eleanor Oct 2015
I hear couples say "No I love you more"
Back and forth
Like its the cutest thing,
But it's so heartbreaking.

I love you enough to let you treat me poorly because you don't love me more.
Acknowledging that some has to "love you more" means that person loses.
Because you'll give what you will but they're all in on this.
"I love you more" means the same as
"You love me less"
Isn't that horrible?

You show me no sympathy,
But still you love me.
In your way you do-
Not the same as I love you.

I'd give you anything.
I love you more-
So you can hurt me.
Maybe I want more from you.

I stay up all night to hold you because you shake from the nightmares in your sleep.
But you look bored when I'm sitting here crying.
"I love you more" isn't romantic- it's a tragedy.

You don't look at me the way I look at you.
Your eyes say "affection"
And mine say "I'm devoted to you".
Love always seems to hurt more for one person.
Madame Eleanor Sep 2015
You need to get stronger on your own.*
How?
Even body builders need a spotter.
Someone to take the pressure off when the weight just gets to be too much and threatens to crush them.
Help me, please, I can't hold my own anymore and every second I'm doing all I can to keep from letting my strained fingers slip.
But I can't bear this much alone, and when I inevitably let it fall upon me don't ask why I was so weak.
Madame Eleanor Aug 2015
Ever since I first nervously stuttered out "I think I love you" to you in my car almost a year ago it's been easier for me.
I never said that to anyone,
the man before you never heard it.
I wouldn't even say it to my own family.
But I felt safe saying it to you
I love you I love you I love you too

It just rolled of my tongue.
You're such a dork- I love you
I told you all the time so you'd never forget-
You can be pretty forgetful.
I told you I did when I was sad and you just held me and let me cry.
I told you when I saw it in your eyes,
I said it when you made me laugh and smile,
When you were hurting and just needed to feel love for awhile.
I'd whisper it to you like a secret,
Or yell it so all the world could hear it.

I reminded you every night before you fell asleep,
Or whenever I had to leave.
I said it seriously, a promise.
You'll always have a place in my heart, never forget this.

I smiled whenever you said it.
But then you said you just didn't.
And now I'm afraid that I'll say it again, let it slip.
Every time I say "Goodbye," I start to finish it with "love you.", but that's not my place.
You don't want to hear that, I'll try harder next time to not let those damning words escape.
Madame Eleanor Aug 2015
You hurt me,
I forgave you.

I was forced to go,
You took me back.

You weren't very faithful,
I forgot it.

I cried because you broke my heart,
And seeing that broke yours.

You left and treated me like ****,
I took you back because we both don't like being alone.

I had moved on,
Because you told me to.

You showered me with love and affection,
I hoped this time it wouldn't be temporary.

I was cautious at first,
You got me not to be.

You said this time would be different (you always did),
I believed you (I always do).

You treated me like I was unimportant,
That was okay, I'm used to it.

I gave you everything I had,
You were happy to take it.

You used me,
I accepted it because you made the bad thoughts go away.

I put myself through hell to make you happy,
You said I was being clingy.

You were hurting inside,
So I comforted you.

I needed a hug,
You needed your space.

You became distant,
I felt alone.

Every fraction of my life fell apart,
And you jumped ship like a coward.

You were cold and uncaring,
I cried myself to sleep.

I was going to surprise you for our one year anniversary,
You beat me to it by abandoning me.
Madame Eleanor Jun 2015
Her
There's this girl I see a lot.
We don't talk much, maybe just a few remarks occasionally.

I'm ******* her.
I don't give her any credit.
Why should I when no one else is going to?
God but she's a wreck.
Sure she can paint on all the expensive makeup and bright smiles she wants but I know.

I see her.  
That pretty white smile beneath her plump pink lips- fake.
The ***** cries herself to sleep most nights.
So weak.

Half the time I see her she's trying to fix herself and the other half she's crying because she can't.
What a mess.
I should just reach through the glass and end her.
This whole poem is about my thoughts on the girl I see in the mirror.
Madame Eleanor Jun 2015
Pretty angel don't follow me to hell.
I'm a sinner caught under your spell.
If you dare move a step I'll let go-
But if you stay in place I'll implode.
I like the first few lines but have no idea where to go with this one...
Madame Eleanor Jun 2015
I didn't fall in love with you the first time you made me moan softly into your chest.
Stupid boy, I didn't fall in love with you when you touched my *******.
These physical sensations would mean nothing me,
Were they not with the one I love so truly.

You must understand that in my mind love and *** are connected.

I think I fell in love with you gradually,
It didn't happen so quickly for me.
It started when I saw how sweetly you blushed and stammered when asking me to be yours,
Then continued when you said I was the most beautiful girl in the world.

Darling, I don't just love you for the good times,
It's not been solely through bliss that you've become mine.
When everything seems to go to hell,
You hold my hand and make me well.

When I've hated you-
Threatened to slap the face I now caress,
I swear I still loved you nonetheless.
Written December 18, 2014.
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