It’s easy to tell when
It’s the beginning of the
End.
You get that sick helpless
Feeling in your gut
Like someone died
Something died.
In a way
It is a death
Of something
Of love
Of something that could have
Would have
Should have been
Might have been
If it weren’t for that *******,
Life.
Things get stale
Like a crumb under the couch.
It’s always the same
Everything ends anyway.

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I'm sickened
And saddened

It pains me to look
At all of the people
Old and young
Happy and sad
Skinny and fat

To see them and know
They are
Or were
Nothing more than
A notch
On some other's belt

That pretty girl
A notch

That lonely old man on the
Park bench
A notch

Your mother, my father
Notches

Your future child
A future notch

We're all just
Playthings
At another's expense.

Sometimes
The words pour out
A beautiful symphony
Letters entwine my skull
Choke me with their simple
Elegance
Some see it as writing
I see it as
A beautiful death
A necessary one.

But other times
The emptiness is what
Overwhelms me
The profound absence
Of ink on paper
The maddening sensation
Of paralysis
Grips me
As my gentle fingers
Shake
Helpless and
Longing.

This is a story
about a boy who
smiled like an angel.

At once he smiled
it was a shy gesture
and just as subtly
and timidly
I fell in love
with both the boy
and the smile.

So innocent
yet capable
those heavenly lips
stretched over
shining teeth
that reflected such
promise.

So enamored was I
that I failed to notice
the boy's smile
waver
and disappear
just as fast.

By then it was
too late
when the allure
of the smile
dissipated
like a thick fog
of clouded judgement.

Before me stood
the boy
but not
the smile or its
heavenly essence.

Before me stood
a beautiful
devil
and he took
my heart
and ate it with
a devilish
grin.

Flighty
Choppy
Pieces and parts
They never come together
Quite right

Like a puzzle
Missing all of its pieces
Was it even a puzzle to begin with?

You cannot make something
Out of nothing.

Sleep is only a haven
For those having something
To escape in their
Waking hours.

Cold sweat,
Jolting shock
Body wrenching
Soul crying out
For internal relief

The angel holds you
In her tired grip

Half dead
Half awake
Between two worlds
Pick your poison.

Restful restlessness
Peaceful horror
Stable madness

Freedom from all others
Trapped within
One's self.

When i'm closest to Death
Is when I feel I am most alive.

I'm dangerously close to having nothing, wanting nothing
I feel as though nothing is the most I could ever ask for.

I feel pleasure in the pain
Where there is no pain there is no life

I stand amongst the lively
Holding Death's hand
Listening to the sweet promises
Of an inevitable end.

There's Trouble
Watch as she dances
To her wicked
Tune

And her?
O yes, that's
Misfortune.
She's a sneaky one...
She is a killer
Hiding
In the shadows.

Just look at
This one
She keeps her head
Down
She is quiet and somber
But present:
Sadness
She is everywhere all at once.

But he is my favorite
Always with me
A friend to us all,
Trailing silently behind
Hello, Death.

I know it when I
See it
That look.
Haunting,
Ripping and
Tearing
Bliss that once was
Is no more.
When dreams are
Interrupted
Tainted
By Life and her cronies.
Reality has a face
It's everywhere
Pieces scattered
About
It even resides within
You,
My dear.

Why is it
That when the world
Is quiet
My thoughts are
Loudest.

There is a boy sleeping
In my bed.
I should lay with him
I want to lay with him.
But I am so restless
So full of purpose
During these dark hours
Of the day

Every word that I type
Brings with it a release
Like a breath
Of the coolest,
Crispest
Winter air

Oh how I’ve missed this feeling…
The keyboard
Calls out to me
Like an old friend
In the night.

I greet her
With open arms
And
A pounding in my
Chest
These words keep me
Going
These words are my legacy
These words are my own.

I hope that one day
You will read these words
Too
And find some
Solace in your own
Heart.

I love you like
A butterfly loves her
Nectar
I love you
Without limits
Or conditions
I love the pieces of you
That break
When touched
I love the pieces
Of you that
Don’t.

I need you like
A baby
Needs her mother
You keep me
Sane
Grounded
Alive
You make me
More myself
Than I
I need you
To compliment
My parts
And pieces…
Even they get lonely
Sometimes.

I want you like
A child wants
Love and acceptance
When you are around
Everything
Is ok even when it’s
Not
I want to wake up
Everyday
Knowing that I have you
More than
The others
I want you to
Feel the same,
My friend
And I hope that
You do.

I love you.
I have loved you.

Now, my friend,
I am in love with you.

The music starts
And so do
I
Every beat pulls me
In a new direction
Every word
Squeezes me.
Sliding
Twirling
Winding
Gracefully and beautifully
In my own eyes
I don’t care who sees
Me
I am poetry
In motion.
I am
Limitless
Boundless
Restless
And full of
Life.
I will move
To my own
Beat
And I will not
Apologize.

the universe cries for me
I stare awestruck
numb and
poisoned
i'm sickened at what
once was
and i'm grieving
what is yet to
come.

I lay my flowers at
the grave
of those
who wrote before
me

and gently weep.