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279 · Aug 2014
waht
Kim Denise Aug 2014
Do you even notice when I'm around?
Do you feel that certain aura,
that butterflies and sparks and
all of those that I cannot describe?
Does your heart beat out of your chest
when I hold your hand or look at you in the eyes?
Did you smile too when I said yes?
Do you see me in your dreams?
Do you wish that those dreams were real?
Do you wish we'd stay this way-
Happy
Peaceful
In love?

Or is it just me?
Sometimes I miss you and sometimes I think you miss me too
Kim Denise Nov 2014
I don't know what
To feel about you.

It's like I want to hope
I still own your heart

But there's this voice
Saying you've found
Someone new.

But darling,
This is the first time
I don't mind being uncertain.

Only you can make me feel that.

Why did I ever let you go?
Kim Denise Apr 2015
I know you will wait for me.
I am thankful for that,
but that's what I'm afraid of.

What if I'm not anymore
the person you fell in love with?

I told you I'm the sea,
dependent on the moon
for my highs and lows.

I told you I'm the sea,
only a drop can ever be
understood.

I told you I'm the sea,
I make storms.

I told you I'm the sea.
You told me you are the shore,
waiting for that kiss.

I know you will wait for me
and that's what I'm afraid of.

What if I never come back?
I know you will find me
but what if I get lost again?
Kim Denise Apr 2015
I stood down here,
arms wide open,
waiting for you.

They got tired,
I got tired,
but I never moved an inch,
because I'll never know when
you'll come,
when you'll finally decide
to cut the strings,
when you'll learn to trust.

I am here.
I am here.
I am here.

Waiting for you to take the fall.

I am ready to catch you,
more than ready.

I will wait.

I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
256 · Sep 2014
Untitled
Kim Denise Sep 2014
Your works,
they speak with emotions,
they scream and
they puncture every heart
who ever got the chance to read them.

But my dear
your eyes,

I've never seen something so empty.
235 · Jan 2015
regret #i-lost-count
Kim Denise Jan 2015
You asked me who I love.
My heart screamed you, you
but I said another name
and now I'm so ****** at myself
and I can't forget the look in your eyes.

I can't bear to say your name,
it's like fire in mouth,
people stepping on my chest,
water in my lungs,
shards of glass in my bones.

I say your name
and I ache all over,

but then I when I looked in your eyes,
you were aching all over

and
   that
     hurt
        more
           than
              all
                of
                  our
 ­                    unsaid
                        goodbyes.
and somehow we keep finding each other
228 · Sep 2021
why and while im still here
Kim Denise Sep 2021
at the end of the
day, all i have is hope and
willingness to try
for the hope of it all
try again, try harder, try another
223 · May 2015
Let's stop playing
Kim Denise May 2015
I don't like playing
hide and seek
because I'm so good
at hiding,

people get tired of looking.

So I remain lost.

I still am.
220 · Feb 2015
Untitled
Kim Denise Feb 2015
And I could tell you
that you mean a lot to me
but I could see
in your eyes
that you don't want to.
208 · May 2015
See me again
Kim Denise May 2015
I don't know why I'm
missing you tonight, maybe
because you left me
hanging in my dreams.
186 · May 2015
Untitled
Kim Denise May 2015
And I know you already love someone. That's why I'm staying out of your life even before I come in halfway.
186 · May 2022
grief
Kim Denise May 2022
they say not to make a home out of your grief
but how do you do that
when she has been the one who’s always there?

i try to pinpoint the very first time i met her-
was it when my best friend left and i refused to say goodbye, missing my chance to ever say it, and now i barely remember her name?
was it when i saw my mother repeatedly cry, behind the sunglasses, amidst large crowds, and all i hear is the shattering of hearts in her shaky words?
was it when i was left alone to take care of everyone else, to pick up the pieces, and to try to make it whole so that the ones after me has something to hold on to?

i also try to recall when she decided to stay-
was it when i was at my lowest and all i wanted was for him to hold me but instead he made me feel like i’m a burden he doesn’t want to carry anymore?
was it when i finally allowed myself to envision future only to have him drop me and realize during the free fall that i was never in his?
was it when the hope i saw blossom in everyone get stolen by a thief in the night followed by the helplessness of not being able to fight back?

and i do is cry
and cry
and cry

but not just for myself anymore.

that’s when grief is the loudest-
when i think about the could have beens
when i realize the impact beyond my bubble
when i start to feel the dark creeping in.

because lately she envelopes me in this unbearable sadness
and im terrified at thought of her comforting me…

because she does
she’s the only one holding me and puts me to sleep at night.

grief has been a constant reminder that i’m alive
and sometimes i find myself reaching for her
just so i can feel something, anything

so maybe grief isn’t my home
maybe she’s my favorite guest
and she can stay for as long as she wants to
they say where there is grief, there was love
179 · Nov 2021
i didn't get to say goodbye
Kim Denise Nov 2021
can we meet at our spot?
the place where you first kissed me,
the place where we danced in the parking lot

dont worry, i wont ask you to try again
or ask you to stay or hold me
like you did back then

i just want to properly say goodbye,
you don't have to say anything
just look at me straight in the eye

and i will finally say what i've wanted to say-
that i really wanted it to be you
in every possible way

but you're not it so
i'll give you one last hug, one last kiss
and maybe that's when i can truly let you go
will i ever get the chance
172 · Nov 2021
Untitled
Kim Denise Nov 2021
siguro nga'y hindi ikaw
siguro hindi ngayon
baka balang araw
sa ibang pagkakataon
150 · Nov 2021
nov 1 - afraid
Kim Denise Nov 2021
today i realized im afraid
of unpaved roads- uncertainty
of crashing onto the rocks- pain
of waves dragging me away- losing control
of heights- falling

today my knees quivered at the thought
and i froze at the sight of them
i was unwilling to go on
i was tempted to go back
i almost stayed inside

today, however, i also i realized
that i can face them
with one breath at a time
with a guiding hand
with encouraging words

im not saying im not afraid anymore
but now im more afraid of not trying
Kim Denise Nov 2021
i started seeing someone new.
we did the things we used to do-
went to dinner and kissed at the backseat too
and if im being honest, in the dark he almost felt like you.

and i know it's unfair for him and for me,
using each other so as not to feel lonely.
i guess we're settling for something temporary
for a future with anyone, that i really cannot see.

i think the main reason im writing today
is to make myself realize i cant stay this way.
i guess i haven't really let you go, that's all i can say
and i can't rely on someone else in order to feel okay.
i just want to love again
but this is isn't love
136 · Nov 2021
good mourning
Kim Denise Nov 2021
i passed by our usual route
and went to our usual breakfast spot.
it's still the same
but somehow different.

probably because you aren't here.
but you still is,
at least the version of you
i was in love with.

i keep looking for him
even though i know he's not here anymore.
i guess i like breaking my own heart
for it reminds me i still have one.

i am truly trying
to let you go.
but at least for today,
can you let me mourn?

for the moments we had
for love we shared
for who you were
for who i was
as they say-
where there is grief,
there was love
119 · Aug 2021
Untitled
Kim Denise Aug 2021
Here's the thing,
I haven't written in so long.
I read my poems from years ago
and think if I could write something
out of the silly freshman year crush I had,
what more for this first real love and heartbreak.

Then I realized I couldn't.

There's nothing left to say other than we tried.
and maybe that's all we're ever gonna get
104 · Aug 11
nothing new
Kim Denise Aug 11
on my own again
because you left me

and some days
it just feels so lonely

but then i realized
this feeling isn't new

i used to feel this way
even when i was still with you
103 · Aug 2021
something to remember
Kim Denise Aug 2021
even though you're not in my life anymore
we really should have gotten tattoos together
to reminder who we used to be-
young, in love, happy.
we can still be those, just on our own

— The End —