Maybe
instead of falling apart
we should try
tearing apart
this world
and set fire
to the ones
that burnt us

living.
it's an act
of rebellion

i don’t fight
to be remembered
I fight
so no one else is being forgotten
and they live
to be themselves

it’s moments like these
unexpected
where i don’t recognise myself
is this really me
on the dance floor
singing along?
is this really me
seeking conversations and
people all day long?
11 days
and plenty connections later
i feel like i learned more
than i could ever have taught
about myself

My art
is not about me
but the images I speak,
about the pictures
I paint of the sea
or the many night skies
that you see
about the people
I described
and the words
that I've combined
and soon you'll find
that the meaning behind
my art
is not about me
but what you seek

late nights
cold walls
calming skies
all the stars
watching us
while we sit
and talk
about the secrets
in our hearts
and heavy thoughts
in our minds,
It’s comfort.
just you and me
and the stars we see

have you ever tried it?
being yourself?
have you ever lived
with other people’s shame?
because they don’t understand
they don’t want to know
so they drag you
drag you
drag you
down.
but you cannot stop
being yourself
please.
it’s their shame
not ours

you did not make me
you did not break me
i am not like you.
i am everything
you never could
but late at night
i have to admit
i still am
everything i hated
about you
i am
my parents' child

what does creativity
mean?
is it pulling words
out of the air
and forming them
into rhyming pairs
or is it taking
what's inside my mind
and carefully placing it
for the world
to see?

it’s 1 am
2 am
3 am
6
another night gone
another night
well spent
talking
listening
learning
growing
losing sleep
was worth it

step by step
getting closer
steadily
slowly
until there's another step
and stepping stone
in my way

I daydream
even at night
of false hope
and love unreachable
I dream
of you
day and night

in your eyes
i saw the stars
in your arms
i felt the warmth
of a perfect summer night

now in your eyes
i see the pain
in your arms
i feel the end
of a love yet to begin

in another lifetime
we’d be sitting by the window
tea in hand
gazing
into each other’s eyes
in another lifetime
i’d be yours
and you’d be mine

i have done everything
you ever wanted of me,
done terrible acts
(you promised to be heroic)
lost friends
(you turned into enemies)
and in the end
i have lost everything
i ever wanted.
i wonder:
have i really done enough
to follow my dreams
or was i happy
following yours?

you.
you.
you.
it's all about you.
always about you.
every poem i write,
every song i like,
always you on my mind.

i saw
your mother died
in the newspaper
and didn’t stop
to call

i saw
you graduated
in a post of yours
and didn’t stop
to text

i see
your life
in glimpses
and realise
you’re gone

i see
you're moving on
in life
and must admit
so am i

i think
of you
from time to time
but not enough
to call

i think
of us
from time to time
but not enough
to text

i know
our friendship
is all
but a ghost
of the past

i know
i loved you
with all
i had
in the past

it’s not the same
it’ll never be
you have you
i have me
separately

do you see your face
between the lines?
do you recognise the person
i try to describe?
have you realised
that it’s all about you?
have you noticed
you’re bleeding through
my heart
onto the paper
into everything i write

I know who i am
i know myself
i want to shout
i want to scream
i am myself

how can i make
you see
how can i make
you realise
how can i prove
myself
to you

i don’t want much
i don’t mean harm
i just want to be seen
by you
as the person i am
and always have been

I want to let go
let go
of this heaviness
that’s dragging down
my heart
heavy with sorrow

I want to let go
let go
of this tragedy
that’s filling
my heart
brimming with grief

I want to be
be free
of insecurities
that aren’t my own
for my heart to beam
with love
instead

We were alone
till Death made us part
of each other
Death came for us
too soon
and yet,
won’t bother
leaving us alone

So we are running
for a chance
to stay

Now Death may come for us
but it was worth it from the start.
Because we won’t be alone
till Death do us part

star glazed mountains
whisper in the dark
tell me all your secrets
guide me down this path
star glazed mountains
whisper in my ear
do not stop looking
the light you seek is near

to love is to lose
but not before
you’ve gained
what you could never
dream of

i started wearing it again
your ring
your love
and it still felt as natural
as the day you gave it to me
your ring
your love
i miss it now
i miss you now
your love
your ring

“You really don’t have to do that”
oh but i do
for all my existence has become
is just about you

rose coloured petals
sunlight dancing joyously
a grassy field at peace
flowers blooming all around
music chiming gently
the touch of a friendly breeze,
that's what I see
when you look at me

It's winter again
ice cold
frosting
freezing hands
my lips are blue

It's winter again
ice cold
frosting
freezing heart
my lips are numb
and so am I

It's winter again
inside and out

It's winter again
It's winter again

going going
never time
to stop
and rest

i must perform
i must oblige
i must keep going
and going

taking time off
to take my mind off
of all the things to do
as soon as time’s up

i have to function
so the guilt
of underperforming
doesn’t consume me

I wish
I'd never known
peace
because I can't seem
to bear the chaos now

i can thrive
all on my own
i can help others thrive
all on my own
i will not bow down
for others,
but you
oh you
i’d follow you
to the end of all worlds

justice?
what’s justice
in a world of
in-
justice
you ask?
easy.
justice
lies
in
tentionally

I’m a romantic
hopelessly lost
in daydreams
and fantasies
of your hands
in mine
guiding me
through a field
of thoughts
I’m overthinking
what could have been
if I had said the words
but now I’m lost
being a romantic
hopelessly
all by myself

he was a hero
a soldier
protector of lands
or so we thought
he was a villain
a tyrant
destroyer of all
who’d been planning his downfall
from the very start
determined to fool us
to make us a part
of his twisted plans
his torturous acts
and we let him.
and we complied.
we were the heroes
the soldiers
protectors of land
but we became
the villains
the tyrants
the bad guys instead.

oh how i wish
to not be seen
neither by you
nor by me

I dream of you
sometimes
even though
I don't know
who you are.
My dream.
Are you out there
somewhere?

I can hear
hearts beating
and souls whisper
but I can't bear
to hear
your name
spoken out loud.
Because you are
what my soul whispers
and my heart beats for

your heaven
is my hell
my heaven
is your love

when nothing
lasts forever
was the second time
i fell

it's this fear
this kind of dread
that things are bound
to go wrong.
cause it's been
going good
for way too long.
surely
it's about time
I take the misery
that everyone else has been feeling
and make it mine

The night's
only purpose
is thinking
But is thinking
the purpose
I serve?
They say
life is for living
but what
is living for?
When I look up
to the stars
looking up
to the endless sky
I realise
how small I am
and that
I need to fight
for the beauty
in this universe
against the
darkness in my
thoughts.
Creating is
what I can best
And that's
what is worth
living for

one act of kindness
a smile
a wave back
enough
to make an impression
and a promise
that kindness
still exists

we wanted to grow up
oh how badly did we want
to grow up
to grow old
to be better.
if only someone had told us
that's not how it works.
we just grow old
things don't go better
and we'll just feel worse

And they came to me
and asked
"Is this
what you imagined?"
And I said
"Yes.
But only in my nightmares"

they don’t know.
they don’t know
who i am
how i write
the ways i’m hurting
they think they know
but all they know
is what i choose to share
what i choose to show
they don’t know me.
and they don’t care
enough to notice
they know nothing at all

and the father told the son
"you are more
than i could ever have become"

“aren’t crows meant to be bad luck?”
he overhears
one too many times
he feels a tugging
deep in his chest
and so away he flies
a bringer of misery
desperate to find
a blessing of his own

a voice
mocking me from afar
no, or is it from within?
How could i be so foolish?
allow myself to feel
what never could have been
a voice
bringing me down
making me kneel
oh please
“you thought this was real?”