~National Pro-Life Alliance~ www.prolifealliance.com/mission.html
"Because every human life is precious in the eyes of God, and science and common sense dictate that life begins at conception, it is clear that abortion is the wanton taking of human life and no truly great nation can allow this practice to take place."

TM
False Pretense

To the girl who turned down the request to be my girlfriend:

You told me secrets no one else knows, about your childhood and the struggles of abuse, multiple suicide attempts, and a failed engagement. I understood you, and I wanted us to be more than just friends.
You wanted to be more than just friends with me too, you said so.
It still hurts to know you threw me away despite what we had.
All I wanted was the honesty I gave you, reciprocated. But you couldn't tell me all you truly felt, instead 1 year later I learn that you did indeed love me but I was moving too fast- why couldn't you have just told me that? Instead you couldn't even tell me to my face, but sent 4 text messages and we're through. Shallow. All-time low. I was so sure you were the one. Coincidence? We're both still single and alone full a year later, and I've never been more content to be single. Last April was a different story, we had a genuine relationship but you never gave me the chance because you let irrational fear drive us apart. There's no looking back now - I'm just a lost cause it's all I'll ever be. TM

I've been sitting on this song for a while, probably since spring 2015 - finally looked at it again since I first wrote the song, decided to post it without making any changes. Hope you like it!

2 attempts at medical school admission and 2 failing MCAT scores, I'm facing a third admission attempt in the face, I'm resilient but how persistent am I to be?

**CAPS are loosely inspired by Wage War's song Don't Let Me Fade Away

VK.
******* Tinder.

TM

VK

Numbers 14 (NIV)
parenthesis is meant to be a spoken word intro, chorus line is "The promise remains - blood was spilled" think progressive deathcore.

September 2017

VK.

VK. ******* Tinder

Winter 2011
I don't know why 18 year old me loved the double ellipses instead of the grammatically correct triple ellipses; I was weird - still am.

3% uncertainty is all it takes to shatter dreams . . . all I wanted was your honesty, that's all I gave you . . . I guess I was terribly wrong about you . . . VK.

**CAPS lyrics are meant to be screamed/***** vocals
**standard type are meant to be spoken

Oh Sleeper | Beartooth | Oceans Ate Alaska | Novelists | Silent Planet

Winter 2011
Wow! Looking back at old hand-written journals really takes me back in time! I just turned 25 this year - reminiscing is a sweet thing.

October 22, 2016
Diamonds: F#maj7 - C#maj7 - E - B x2
                    F#min7 - C#min7 - E - B x2
              Vs: C#m7
                    C#m7 - A - E
Esther 4:14

2018; this piece could easily fit into a spoken-word progressive metalcore composition maybe Silent Planet style with more emphasis on the wording than musical technicality. This written work came from a particularly dark place in my life earlier this year feeling lost and purposeless. I'm back on track now! As it's been said before, "If there's no meaning, there'll be no inspiration" (~ABR)  and:
“Sunny days wouldn't be special if it wasn't for rain
Joy wouldn't feel so good if it wasn't for pain
Death gotta be easy, ‘cause life is hard
It'll leave you physically, mentally and emotionally scarred" (~50 Cent)

CAPS are meant to be screamed
standard are meant to be sung

2/27/18

#dysfunctional management #can't take it anymore #millennial #motivation #I'm the change

This quote is from August Burns Red's song Lifeline off their 2017 record Phantom Anthem;

This quote holds such deep meaning to me. When I first listened to the song in 2017 I was at a pivotal point in my life both personally and professionally. I was a non-traditional pre-med student working an entry level job in healthcare as a medical billing specialist. Setback on my MCAT scores were keeping me from acceptance into medical school. I was in a bad place mentally because I was hanging everything on the prospective job: my sense of self-worth, happiness, and professional identity. Yes, I was committed to doing whatever it took to become the physician I desire to be, but my MCAT proved to be the biggest hurdle in my pursuit. More than pushing myself intellectually and academically to do well on the exam I realized my tenacity wasn’t lacking but rather I was my own worst enemy in my ‘no compromise’ aspiration to become an osteopathic physician. I was self-limiting opportunities because, “it’s not in my plan”
My biggest mistake in the process of pursuing medicine was the blinders I held to my own eyes. It really started in 2014 when I began my first application cycle investigating medical school programs. From 2014 through 2017 I pursued entrance into osteopathic medical programs while studying and re-taking the MCAT. Osteopathic philosophy was the most attractive feature and captivated me as an idealistic pre-med student, I was convinced it was the most practical way to practice medicine. As I’ve matured and worked in healthcare now for 4 years I’ve realized I don’t have to compromise those philosophies. A physician is a leader who leads with conviction – osteopathic medicine was the movement, the subsector that I closely identified with, maybe not too dissimilar to Meyers-Briggs personality traits or horoscope sign descriptions.
More than anything in 2017 I came to terms with my faith as the driving force, the motivation and inspiration behind my pursuit and desire to serve others with medicine. I returned to my theist roots and pressed into my spiritual community which has since become the best decision I could make. Personally I have never experienced liberation like I have in admitting that I don’t have all the answers and I’m not dictating my own life purpose. It’s a relief to trust in a higher being that guides and leads me in accordance with His plan and purposes. My tattoo reminds me that despite my failings and shortcomings, I have a unique purpose and all I have to do is ask. No matter if I’m in the highest of highs or lowest depression I can look up amidst the chaos and know there is a God and he works all things for my good – given I serve, trust, and love him with all that I am and have to give.
Inspiration and creativity for me personally is contingent on my spiritual state and faith. When I get impatient and act in my own strength I lose sight of my own sense of purpose. In the fall of 2018 a thought came into my head – one that I said I’d never consider: applying to international Caribbean medical programs. At first I immediately thought back to my commitment as an undergraduate that I would not consider Caribbean schools even as a last resort because of the “stigma” and reputation. After seriously considering my options and researching different programs I realized the “stigma” was overstated, inaccurate, and exaggerated. After just 3 months of strong consideration I pulled the trigger and applied. I never had any doubt I was/am a good candidate for medical school despite my low MCAT scores and I wasn’t surprised when the invitations to interview rolled in my email inbox.
I’m overjoyed to announce that I received an offer to attend Saba University College of Medicine. I couldn’t have made it this far without the support of my community or without the inspiration from my creator who motivates me to live and love Him and others with all that I am.