It's been a bad day

My eyes are tired and my limbs are heavy

Slowly, my mind begins to go backwards, as though travelling through time

From my body's age downward into a toddler

Tears well in my eyes as I sink to my bed, hugging a plushie close to my chest

Pacifier clutched in my lips

Right now, I'm not a teenager or a child

I'm nearly a baby

This is my escape

In the morning, I keep scrolling.

I check for notifications from everything, from everywhere.

Youtube
Tumblr
Twitter
Facebook
Pinterest

Like I said, everywhere.

I scroll until I find something.

Something that seems pretty.

Something that seems important.

I of course share the one I find pretty.

I don’t want to make anyone angry at me.

Do you know what that other one was?

It was about something that is part of me.

It was about a transgender person that had been killed.

Bullied into suicide.

My heart drops as I read further and further into the post.

Her name was Victoria.

They called her [REDACTED].

I could only imagine what she felt in that moment.

Hands shaking, palms sweating, nails digging into her arms…

Then I snap back to reality.

I realize that...that’s me.

My name is Jeremy.

They called me [REDACTED].

You could only imagine what I felt like in that moment.

Hands shaking, palms sweating, nails digging into my arms.

This is my reality.

And I ******* hate it.

The room is dark and quiet as you move through it
Each step you take sends waves of pain flowing through your worn and tired legs
And yet,

You cannot rest
You will not allow yourself to rest until you have reached the exit

Another jolt of pain strikes and you stagger, tripping over your ankle and falling on your face. You try to make a sound.

A plea for help,
A sob,

Anything!

And yet
You have no voice, no mouth, none at all.

Just the bruises and blood streaking down your battle scarred body.

He feels it.

The anger bubbling and turning into molten burning orange-red lava
"I've watched through his eyes,
I've listened through his ears,
and tell you he's the one.
Or at least as close as we're going to get."

He lashes out
And the crow flies from the tree along with the canary
The crow dives down to bark out loud shrieks and peck at him
Whilst the canary attempts to grab the crow to let him have a fighting chance
He is silent as his dark expression terrifies the attackers.

They cannot flee.
Trapped
Everyone is trapped.

There is crying and fire in his head but it cannot simply show.
The troubled, broken dove inside the small yet mighty loris
He sighs.

It’s not time to talk about that right now.
Now,
It’s time to be brave.
Unashamed of who he was born as, he strides forward
Striking down those in his way.

My heart splits and shatters
Not two pieces
Not three
A million tiny painful shards

Each stab into my arms and legs
Creating cuts and dark bruises
Irritating my skin
Turning it red
Painful
Bleeding
Red

I’m scared
Will this be my demise?
Slowly drowning in red until I can no longer see my skin?
I scream out for help
For someone
A
N
Y
O
N
E
To help me
There are so many people who’ve hurt me
Unintentionally or intentionally

That scares me
The uncertainty of it all

I don’t know who I’ll fall for
Or if I’ve even fallen at all
Maybe it’s because I’m a child

Or maybe
Just maybe

I’m an idiot who's fallen head over heels for you in the most foolish way