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 Aug 2021
Ryan P Kinney
Anger/stupidity
Cold numb void
Unthinking, emotionless machine
Rage builds up. . .EXPLODE
Want to break, destroy, ****

The look of horror on her face snaps me back to reality
Her shriek of terror, screaming
I’m worthless
How could I do this to her?

Who am I?
Nothing, a monster
Bash my fist into a mirror
The twisted mangle web of glass mirrors my mind

Nothing, there’s no feeling left
The tears stream
The blood gushes from my ****

What did I do to her?
Can’t speak to her?
I deserve nothing
I die
No personality
Just cruelty

The mirror still hangs, shattered
A cold gruesome memory
I don’t deserve her
Skin still embedded in glass
I seen my twisted reflection
The monster I’ve become

Just die. . .
 Aug 2021
Ryan P Kinney
The (Only) Story
(A Friend Pt. 2)
by Ryan P. Kinney

"So, this is it then?"
"THE END..."

"No, only yours"
"Well, only this part of your story."

"So, What happens now?"
"Where do I go?"

"That's up to you."
"Where do you think you'll go?"

"I guess I hadn't really thought of it."

"It's time to start now."
"We've got places to go."
"Whatever you think, is right somewhere, someplace."
"You write your own story."

"I was too busy living to think about it ending."

"That's the point of it, isn't it."

"So, who are you?

"Oh, you know..."

I DO.
I know her
I guess we all do.
We've known her all along
from
THE BEGINNING...
 Aug 2021
Ryan P Kinney
I am gone
Gone to find myself
Gone to find someone else
Gone to find that they are the same person

I want to be lost
So that I can remember what it meant to be found
I want to lose the chains of my past
And return to them with nostalgia

I want to know if the grass is truly greener
And the water any more blue
I want to discover that there are shades I never perceived

I just want to go
So that I can always be exactly where I am
 Aug 2021
Ryan P Kinney
Startled, I jump.
I have awoken in a bed. Not mine. I think.
But one that might have been an amalgam of all of them. It smells vaguely of lost loves.

“Hello, Ryan,” I hear from the darkness, once again making me jump. Standing in the doorway is a slight young woman. I could have sworn she wasn’t there a minute ago.

I step towards her. Rather than getting closer she slowly illuminates more, like a dimmer switch and a camera coming into focus simultaneously.
Stark realization overwhelms me. I rush over and close the distance in a blink, wrapping my arms around her, tears trailing behind me. They remain suspended in the air as globules of liquid remembrance.

“Heather?” “I thought you were gone. That we lost you?”

“I am. And so are you.”
“At least for now.”

She pries me from her and pushes back into the darkness.
“Am I dead?”

“Not yet,” she says.

“Are you… You?”

“Sort of.”
“I am the me you remember.”
“Being dead is like this odd disconnected collection of everyone else’s recollection of you. I am what you think I was.”
“The rest of me is in someone else.”
“It’s kinda like God. He/She/It/They are whatever people think they are. Whatever they worship as the divine is. They think therefore are.”

“Is this heaven?”

“No. It’s just me.”

“Are you God?”

“We are all are, kinda.”

“Look, I need to tell you something. Something you’ve lived with your whole life. Without living your whole life.”
“WAKE UP”

— The End —