I would do anything, say anything,
To burn to all hell
The fields we conquered
To utterly drown
The ever-growing flames
But do I use fire
Or do I use water?
I need to finish this forever
Burn the frayed ends of this rope
Because God only knows
The poetry I will let loose
If my tongue is not burnt at the stake.
But will I even burn?
Are my eyes truly love-laced?
Are my arteries just frail veins,
My blood merely candy cane—
Did I even make a mistake
Or is everything I do an escapade?

My heart may be mad
But my mind is an asylum
In it is the woman
The ideal of my self schema
Next door is a child
Both terrified and terrifying
Innocence stolen
Capable of everything
Small enough to slip through the bars
She has taken my gun from me
The world is her target
But none with breath shall approach—
The other rooms are filled with scarecrows
And the rest is empty space
Quiet as a field on a windless night
Disorganized,
And still
Eerily still

But even in stillness
What is this hidden door?
Why does this asylum have a theatre
And why are we in it?
Getting cupcakes on an overcast day
Running hand in hand down a sidewalk in the suburbs
But then, it’s gone
The curtains close
And I’m in your old apartment
None the wiser to my being there
A dark room
A cold bed
Anxiety
My skin is warm
You touch it and it crawls
But I want more and I don’t and I do

It’s a lot,
Not knowing how to feel
Not knowing which color to be
Am I red?
Am I blue? Is he green?
Are you gray?
Is everything gray?
Or is it just me?
Did I paint this?
Did you?
Why are we here in this room
You aren’t supposed to be here
It’s not in the blueprints
But if the same room lives in the dungeons of your mind
Will I see you there
Before it burns down?

Hello Jamie, it’s Claire
My Frank is in the driver’s seat next to me on the I-17
Trying to meet my efforts to take care of all the burdens I’ve packed in my knapsack
Wearing the corset meant for me
But I bear the sword at my side
Is it a sin to miss you?
Is it a sin to want to reach out,
Get into your good graces again?
He calls my emotions
“Deep acid oceans”
The ones you were never afraid to swim in
The waves look deadly, but the water’s warm
It takes a brave laird to dive in
I know you still think of me. I know it
I have to believe it to get through the day, sometimes
But if you meant anything to me, anything at all,
Why did I say goodbye?
But if you meant nothing to me, nothing at all,
Why are you still on my mind?

in case you didn’t know,
your skin is soft.
it’s soft under my fingertips
when i graze them along your arm
it’s warm when you’re asleep
then i know your dreams are good.
it’s cold when you’re anxious,
when the night takes you to the places
you don’t want to be.
it’s clammy when you’re in the bad memories
it’s rough when your day has worn you down.
i’ve memorized your body
i know where you twist and turn.

in case you didn’t know,
your eyes are hazel.
you are, after all, the earth
green vines bending into the soil
golden rays of sunshine
kissing the coarse dirt
you’re a world to me.
you’re an adventure
the greatest of my life.

in case you didn’t know,
your eyelashes are dark
they kiss your tears and wish them well
as they send them down your soft cheeks
they flutter about when you’re happy
and they dance about,
so melancholically,
whenever your heart is in pain.

in case you didn’t know,
i love everything about you.
i could say so much more,
and i promise i will
for the rest of my life.

i’m a crashing wave.

that rush you feel? that’s the push-pull
of the life energy i carry
the shores are one night stands, and
the ocean floor is my love
i touch each as i move
as i come and go
giving pieces of my heart away in the dark night
i thought i was a prisoner,
and then i thought i wasn’t.
i was right the first time, you see
but my prison is this earth
i haven’t explored it all
once i have formally met every square meter,
shared my soul and have nothing left,
once it has taken all i have,
i will have served out my sentence
and i will be free.

when i am left with nothing,
i have room for everything.

when i have no more oxygen,
i have room for the universe.

I could lie and say I like it rough
Then you would never know how much you hurt me
You wouldn’t know the words that have escaped my body
Or the skin that has broken
Or the life that has slipped through
Or the bad *** I’ve had because of you
You don’t know the restless nights I’ve tossed and turned like a fish out of ******* water
The things I’ve done to my body because of the things you did to my body
The things I’ve said to that shiny thing in the bathroom
I’m not angry
I’m not ashamed, either
It’s just that I’m going to be loud forever, now, okay?

My mind changes faster than the seasons
I snow in the summer and burn in the winter
Oh, I'm sure there's rhyme and reason,
I just don't know it yet
I like change until it is no longer new
I crave the fall in the spring and the spring in the fall
I don't want to be here,
I make plans to leave,
Suddenly, being here is all I have ever wanted
What is wrong with me?
Will I ever find my footing
Or am I destined to fall for eternity?

This is a peaceful darkness
The waters I'm treading don't feel wet
I don't feel soaked
But I feel the ripples on my skin
I'm drenched in questions and surrounded by answers
Even my mind's eye is overwhelmed
Though it knows things that I don't

But it sure is pretty down (up?) here