efni - Hello Poetry

efni Jan 15

i hope you're okay but
not okay with the fact
that i'm gone.

i hope you come back but
constantly hate the fact
that you won't.

01.15.24

do you miss me desperately?
do you think of me when you hear our songs?
do you think of me at all?
do you miss me endlessly?
do you miss me pathetically?
do you miss me the way i miss you?

efni Jan 15

north

i flinch at your gentle touch and
i brace myself for your kind words

with one hand, i grip
the door handle
ready to run

while you hand me
your heart to hold
with the other

i can fight how fast i'm falling for you
because i've never known love without war

i won't fight how fast i'm falling for you
because i've never known love without war

01.14.23

is it too good to be true or is it just good...
could it possibly be just good

efni Jan 13

my best

trust me, old friend,
i have loved you the best

i gifted you a pearl of purity
amongst my chaos and pain

i shared with you a light
brighter than i have ever seen
when i was stumbling through
my mind's darkest of times

trust me, stranger,
i have never loved anyone better

13.01.23

we're just strangers now. i wonder if you know that you taught me how to love.

efni Jan 12

my great love

i miss you at the strangest of times.

no…
i continue to miss you all the time

my great love
i’ve come to accept this is who you are

i miss you even when i was sure that
i had already let you go.

01.12.24

we haven’t really spoken in years but you’re still my first poem of the year. you still remain my muse - with a permanent place in my heart.

efni Dec 2023

foreign

i have been no stranger to love
but i have always been an alien

because i've never been loved
in a way that i understood

i've always looked for love in hints
craving the closest translation

but never truly understanding
why i can't be loved
in a way i know

22.12.23

parents, friends, partners
it's okay to be different but it hurts to feel lonely when no one seems to love the way you do, and you never know the feeling of love you truly understand

efni Dec 2023

don't worry about it

i let the horrors dealt to me
roll off my back like water

for years, slowly eroding
the soft surface of my skin

until it begins to just barely
drip through into my body

i let the horrors dealt to me
hollow me out like acid

each atrocity seeping inside
and dissolving my bones

until my heart and my mind
are drenched and drowned

i let the horrors dealt to me
fill me back up like poison

i don't know how to stop
letting it all roll off my back

i don't know how to stop
letting it all ruin me.

30.11.23

i'm hollow and my back is wide open collecting the cruelty and savagery that the world endlessly offers me.

efni Dec 2023

crybaby

for a few, fleeting seconds
i cried like a child

i let the sound of my wailing
take up as much space
as it demanded

i let my gasps fill my lungs
with as much air
as it needed

to continue bawling abashedly

sending out sorrowful groans
that echoed throughout the house.

and then it was silent
again.

30.11.23

i'm more used to crying with both hands smothering my mouth.