I thought the only way
was to only numb the pain
took every turn till my life was a blur
I was with filled regret
I wished that we never met

been almost a year
yet I still feel you here
you held me down
and I see that now

I thought I was over you
till I saw your face
that beautiful tender grace
brings me back in a spiral daze

I felt better seeing you since October
I knew then I can't hold you ever
cause after all I've been through
I'm not the same person you knew

Now I live a little
indeed I still feel brittle
but I'll keep trying to be better
this time I hope to see you never

I admit I still love you
but there's no going back
I have to accept what I did
and not lose track

If ever our paths cross again
a smile would be enough
so that I know letting you go
was a better option of making you grow

maybe if i did things right
would you be with me?
i just wish i could turn it back
back when i had the chance

you don’t seem to exist anymore
for me that’s unbearable
I came looking for you
even without hopes or a clue
hoping i’d stumble upon what i lost
wish the universe can bare with my simple cause

the more I miss you
the more i hurt
if missing you would **** me
i’d live for a million times

ever since we lost it
I never seem to find it
I changed my ways
went through my own dark days
yet all I could still think of
is that day you took off
I slipped my chance
lost you at a glance
all because I was lost
I can’t hold you without a cause
now I’m changed
better than my previous page
still I’m stuck on us
and i hope you aren’t

Blue was my favorite as a kid
I didn’t know why till now
blue kisses I give
no one seems to notice how

with none to love
none to have
alone as before
i’m used at being bored

heed my warning
blue kisses i give
i wished i knew this before
before i gave you that kiss

I'll be stubborn and keep writing
while knowing this leads to nothing
trails of paper I leave
mountains I heave
with hopes I'll recover
till then I slumber

seeing you heal feels a huge relief
watching you from here makes me proud
but I ask you this, how do you do it?
maybe it falls onto me that I swore to you too much
to the point I can't let go
or maybe I just refuse to let you go