It seems I’m in a loop
I create new shelters
Shovel clear a new path after each storm
I ******* new boots
But each path I walk is desecrated with time

And the shovel gets heavier
And the boots get tighter
And my joints are stiff
And I wonder how long I can do this

The thing about people
Is you can scream your feelings
You can post them online
You can send them your poems
But they can never feel the way you feel
So maybe expressing it never really happens

The urgency to call you has faded most days
Sun rises and sets and I tell no one about what happens in between
And it’s freeing, but also it’s isolating
It is a reminder that all I ever had was the conversations I have in the dark