When I moved here a few months ago
I was so scared of what it would be like to call this place home
But now I sit in class with you and my heart goes "woah"
You make me feel a little less alone

Your hands in my hair
And you whisper in my ear
"There there"
Makes everyone else disappear

Sometimes I wonder
Do you do this for her too?
Because she is your lover
And that's not who I am to you

Me and you set fires
But she makes you smile

I swear if one more person tells me that me being who i an is just a phase
I might lose it
Me liking girls and boys is not a phase
Me cutting my hair short is not me trying to be a guy
Me wearing the color black does not make me a satan worshiper
it doesn't mean I'm depressed girl who's lost her way
no it just makes me who I am
everything about me is not a phase
its me expressing how I feel through the way I look
and it's me being true to myself
So if that makes you uncomfortable then walk away
because i'll keep my head up high
and look at the sky

I know that my clothing might seem dark
And that my face my say *******
But don't be scared
There's a wacky ****** deep down in here
Despite my cold arura and the way I dress
I promise I'm actually nice

I see you looking at me
As I walk away
So happy i didn't stay
But that's okay
I'll try again another day

I reach for the stars
But they seem so far

For Four years I knew I was totally into girls
For three year my mom read the bible to me
For two years I wasn't allowed to have sleepovers
For one year it was like nothing happened

That was four years of depression
Three years of hiding
Two years of heartbreak
One year of not feeling any thing

It was four years of depression
Three years of self hatred
Two years of anxiety
And One year of mental abuse from my cousin

Now I hate the girl in the mirror
I hate her thighs with battle scars
I hate her long hair that's always in the way
I hate her hands for it makes people think she got burned a little but is just a birthmark

But oh how i love her eyes
The beautiful brown orbs
That sometimes seems red

There is a box i keep hidden under my bed
A box full of letters to the people I miss when I shouldn't
Every time I'm angry or sad I write a new one
It always makes me feel better
But the ones at the bottom of the box aren't from me
There to me
There the ones I couldn't burn for some reason
So shove them in a box to help me forget
Forget about why I'm so broken
And who Broke me

Please go the **** away
I'm not ready to listen to the yelling and fighting this year
I don't want to go and pretend to like my ******* ******* cusion
I'm not ready to hear about all the ******* that happens at her school
So please go by quick

- The girl whose family you ruined