There’s only one way
I can keep from ******* up
Ever again.

You don’t know me
Let alone my intent
Actions do not always
Self represent
I don’t feel urgency
In explaining
My conscience so vaguely clear

Whoops I od'd,
Shortness of breath,
Call ambulance,
Tell my wife I—
Error in judge—-
—-ment cut my life,
No second chance
No guiding light
I never meant
To cause you pain
I never thought I'd be the one who took the fall
I got lost in the moment,
******* like to test the limit
Six minutes down,
Breathing  machine,
Brain not feel right
The look on you
Is killing me,
Drowning in shame
But don't feel bad,
Cause I
Never feared consequences
Hate regrets more than apologies
A year has passed,
Like photographs, my life is just
A scrapbook of
Old friends and faded memories
Looks like I pulled the rug from under myself
The falls too much for me to recover from
It's been real fun
But now I must say goodbye,
I'll see you all at okie dogs
See you all at okie dogs

When memories are all you’ve got
It’s hard to let go of the things they’re made of.

What is it like?
I have no recollection
Ever of being wanted
No love has come my way
My vision is a collage of mirage.

I had sadness
And it stayed
Then I found happiness
And it strayed
My heart, it’s
Still so frayed
Where to now?
No decision made

Sometimes the world makes me feel
Like I never existed
And I existed
When she was laughing...