in the beginning was you
a beautiful lie
promising me something true.

in the middle was us
caught in the crossfire of love
All we did was disagree, fight, and fuss.

in the end is now me
realizing with you is where I need to be.
searching for something I once had

*you drive me crazy, you drive me mad

I do not know how to say no
I let people in my life
and welcome them to come and go
while I'm left feeling low.

I do not know how to love myself
so instead I love everyone else
or at least it's what I like to believe
although I can't cope when they leave.

I do not know how to live
so day by day I die
death shall be my greatest high
and for the millionth time I'll say goodbye.

I have become a disappointment to my self
filled with pride, afraid to ask for help

my addictions have grown beyond size
I am unsure if I can still rise

obstacles laugh at me
they invite me to a party of pity

I reject the invitation
for enough demons I am already facing

how am I to survive
when I don't feel alive

how am I to breathe
when my life has never been a breeze

how am  I to relax
when my soul is under attack

how am I to have peace
when I'm never at ease

How can I appreciate the sun
when all I know is rain

*why oh why God must I be in pain?

the sun will always shine after the rain
as pleasure will appear after the pain
for I am the calm before the storm
seems as if I was doomed before I was even born
they say how can you be so sad with your type of charm?
I tell them my heart is dislocated and my soul is torn.

summer hates me

and guess what?

I hate her back.

I was never the easiest to love
no man would fit like O.J's glove

I was never the easiest to leave
countdown to go, like New Years Eve

I was never confident with my hearts emotions
I am the shallow part of the deep blue oceans

I was never in tune with my souls true feelings
lying to myself, seeking ****** healings

Now I'm left with all my ******* and baggage
empty affairs have created a Savage