Crack the whip that bleeds me dry and look me dead in the eye can you see the sorrow can you see the anger I have gone numb to their grasp as they have washed me again and again so why do your eyes finally look like they care is the crimson river that steadily falls my skin or is that you can no longer find that which makes you the powered I know what I can now feel that smile on my face that goes from ear to ear

I stare to the sky I see the smile of those I have loved as I try to cry for the thousandth time I close my eyes and want the tears to roll down my cheek pitter patter the rain drops falls upon my cheek I see now and I thank you for my tear you may have given me the endless sadness that I feel but even among the brightest of stars you are still able to be the only one who can point me the direction I need as I go move my feet and the rain begins to pour I feel the wind push me back why is this you wanting more

I hear the voices in my head warring to be free “**** him” “take her away from the pain” “no you must help them” “burn their obsessions ” why do these voices continue to persist I reach into my heart to see if I can find the calm that I seek but when I look deep in there all I can hear is the voices “take your pitiful soul away from this place” “the people who love you matter” “why do I hurt why can’t I stop the hurt” “I love her why won’t she love me back” oh god SHUT UP as I wail in the agony of the struggle inside I slide my nails along my leg and come across the padding these pills do nothing to curb the voices they just make the voice become more like me

Disgust vile feelings that bubble in the heat of my blood as they course the intracies of my veins they reach my and I collapse to my knees and weep tears they never seem to end as I start drowning in this closed room that I have created these feelings finally make their way into my brain and I begin to swim against what tears I have cried I do not wish to fall victim to my sorrow and I can create a new hope can't I  is that even possible what is this cold feeling I have icing the heat that travels through my blood it's your touch thank you from saving me from my self thank you now that I am frozen in the happiness I leave the rest to you

Briana
My muse the one who guides the pen
The one who turned my heart
From the ashes of nothing
To the coal that I was used to
Now among my broken pieces
I find the diamond you think of me
Briana
I see the beauty in your honey words
I see the fairy tales of my heart
When you embrace this side of mine
Can you see the changes
Can you hear the harmony the flows along
These dreams and sorrows
Briana
Why do I not let go
Why do I not see through
Why can't I hold on to
Why oh dear god why
I have lost so many of the parts
That made me sad
So why can't I celebrate
So why can't I stop these tears
Well looks like the blood has run dry

I can soar on the wings of the my false hope and I can breathe forever drowning in my lies but when I look to the eyes that gaze into my eyes like burrow that leads to my soul all you will see is the small man that I have become because the point I have reached is where my hope has stunned and paralyzed me to my core why is it that the fear of losing those eyes is the reason I can move and miss your hand to keep you by my side

Jade
Hope is not a lost art
Love didnt lose sight of what is
Tears are the bandage for the wounds
Jade
Please let a smile bring you back
I hope the words can latch on
I wish the sorrow to fade
I pull the sadness apart
Jade
I am sorry you feel this way
It isn't just you on this day
So let the weight come down
We will burden the pain
Jade
Love is for you and with you
Beauty and wonder stand guard
Fear and doubt shall be slain

Why do they cry why do they sing is this my mind leaving me or can I actually your voice from the heavens of your dreams. To the emptiness of my heart as I look to sky and ask you why do you taunt me why do I still weep when I know that you can not be there. My mind knows against what my heart says but your heart believed it so why should the sorrow be in my head each time I close my eyes I can see the world those rose coloured glasses you wore so why can't I connect the tears that roll down my face to that heart that managed to colour me different

The feet drag along the grounds that sleep among the dead I have this weight that constantly snags along the roots and holes but now I feel the that body becoming once more as it no longer drags behind me but leaps upon my shoulder as I walk into this Moslem of things that I have already dumped in to these four walls and try to be rid of this accursed weight I have why have I found a new body that I can not bear to hold up it crushes me so deep when I try to escape I notice those people leaving their dead weight

As my fist crashes along the wall and as I voice goes where it has never been the pulsing heat I feel is addicting like the words that slipped from your tounge and as I look to my hand to see the damage I have brought upon my hand I see the blood flow along the curves of arm like the tears that fell that day from your face as I saw it last when I saw the blackness that had enveloped you that day do I really need to watch you leave behind theblack veils that those discpible people had graced upon there sorrow stricken faces

As I March into the battle I  can hear the blissful sound of the rain drops washing away the sins of the heavens that call me them now I see blood falling from eyes as it cascades into soul the soul that I have lost I push on to the glory that I came to seek this day as I fall to ground reaching for my brothers arm I am tossed aside by man to be greeted by deceiver who wears the clothes of man to grasp at last the fate for even the common man many days after I can see the again as I watch it wash away the tears from those could not save

Just let me die oh please let me die for I have done upon you what I fear has made you into the monster that I wanted but never got and with this new side that he so luckily may have I am sorry for the fallices that I spoke around those naive and deceptive ears I feel the shame come across my face I feel the rush of sorrow overtake my body and as it at it tipping point of the battle that wages along ridges of my brain that sorrow wins and the monster I so dearly loved is finally by my side so why is my hand unable to hold you gripped to be mine

I see fire in the distance glisten off lens of my eye I hear the raging tide of river is just out of reach I turn away from the fire I turn away from it all but now I all feel is the blood falling from my heart it speeds towards my feet as I begin to shake these roses around my soul so why can't I show you the beauty that I find in my soul why can't you see it when I hold to you so close is this all I mean is the thorns along its stem well I hope you finally see the crimson as I may lay dead at your feet

Can you hear the silence can you see the void buried deep in my mind I never thought I would be able to have the person who could extract the things you can but I lessened my burdens gave them upon your shoulders and saw my smile become more and your become fake do I really hurt you that way do your screams fall on the deaf ears I couldn't reach before but now I hope that my mind and heart are both entwined in their clarity for now your eyes no longer see through mine

I look out on to the rolling plains that captivate me and I begin to stroll along the knolls and as I begin to the fire begins to spread out from my feet and within moments the entire field is a blaze and I see the distant images of the people burning and beginning to melt apart but there is silence and peace why is this so intoxicating of a feeling but as I begin to drink it in the screams break me back into the reality I stare at so even with all my tears for you why can't I put it out I can't save anyone am I truly what I believe

Chaos it is like the beauty that I can see when I look through your eyes and when I see the veil of dark that has been cast on my sight I can feel the touch of your madness that I have gone drunk upon and I can finally see the paradise that I have struggled to create and I am enthralled by all of this so why are you so cold

I see the ferry with the vestige of the vulture and the shivers run down my spine of my soul as I go to step upon this ride which the destination is already know I give my heart to the man of cloth and put my head down to accept my fate as the moments go by I hear the thunder of the torment and the sadness of my journey as I lift my head to see where I know I have failed the many people that I gave my heart to I can hear the chorus of the angels and a smile comes to my face I think to myself what have i done right in this life and as we come ever closer I hear wake up wake up and rise for you are not dead yet as the despair sinks in and my eyes open to the tragedy of the life I have lived

The rooster crows as the sun rises on the horizon to glisten the orange light of day I look to the sky and see the clouds drifting a sway as I go into my day I look to the sun to see the glory of the people I have among the presence I display I go to the fields to see the flowers in full bloom to be among them I wish with great dedication I have become the I finally have managed to lie among them as I look to my life and finally have become that rose with no thorns that is center among field of your heart that I have so longed since the day has turned its beauty upon me

Kat
I am sorry that these demons
Fight better than I can
They tussle with mind
They pierce straight through my heart
Kat
I have failed to belong
Along the lines that I have drawn
And for all these times
You push me back to them
Kat
I have already become
Something that scares me true
For the tears that I have cried
Dried like the rose that I hold on to
Kat
I am glad to have a rock
I know you do care
And these demons know it too
And they keep pulling me back behind the curtain that I am all accustomed to
So dear kat I haven't given up hope I
Just gave up on trying to be the false happy that I gave to everyone including you

I lie among the the dead with my eyes wide open can you find my hand I reach for the warmth of your eyes as you come upon my hand I struggle to be free I cry out to be saved but among these corpses are the remnants of muddied life and the past I have left so why do they bring me back why can't I leave oh that is why I have become to weak shoulder the weight too frail too continue so I need the shoulders you carried me with one last time are you OK with this

I heard a voice is it you calling my name since when has such a simple thing been such a joyous moment why even when I am happy do I not feel this way when all the ones who love me do is show me my worth as I watch the purse of your lips the honeyed sweet words drip from mouth and I finally can see that you gave me the greatest lie of your life that you love me I can finally see those horns

I am looking to all these faces and I can pick you out every time with the smile that you once drew me in with and where the lies once erupted from your mouth hidden behind that voice which I cherished and now when I look to you I see the husk you left behind and as I hold on it I realize slowly that it is just a husk I am sorry that you are no longer who you were the thing my naivety fell for and as I see walking away from me I reach out to see if there is something left behind my hand goes through like the ghost you are I now Here on my knees trying to hold back wanting to tell you everything and as my last tear falls down my face I come to grips that my dreams of are nothing just like me

Do you break the silence can you hear the hope crack as my tears roll along the lines of my cheek you gave the words that my heart held on to for the entirety of my life I came to your life as the breath left your chest why have you left me I can no longer feel my heart it is dying as the days go on I have never felt the ducts of despair run dry you gave me the way of happiness so why can't I hold you to climb from these pits that I lie oh god the walls oh god the light both are closing in and away

as i look up into the sky i can see the carrion's circling overhead readying for the buffet that awaits i wonder if my life will see why i deserve these birds that are so of a flock with me and realize to myself that it was all your fault for you led me astray with your eyes and kept me coming back for more and you drove me to insanity with your love but am i truly crazy for this mistake I have made or am I just now learning what it means to be with my own mind

Look to the sky my child as you look to their you will stars and planets and the heavens they will guide you through this life and keep you in check as I now will be a part of those stars you look up to but worry not for these will also be the angels that hold my hand as my breath escapes me and your tears will be my strength to hold tight to them so I wish for you to give me the power to love you from afar but never away from where I belong at last I will be immortal because forever will now last with you

why am i sad when i hear you speak why do i cry when i feel the touch i long for i hope that i can go beyond these tears for they will last throughout my ages as i gaze upon your hand along my cheek i can see the soft of the words it speaks but as i feel their comfort the shiver and chills run along my spine and i bat away the hand for not to freeze but again these tears flows from which them came and as i realize the mistake that i have made i go to have your touch again i wish upon your comforting hands now that i have them along my body why dont i want to be with the rest of you

I am sorry so sorry for the way that i left your heart in the shambles that of my hands that gripped too tightly for so long as the pieces fall around me i try to piece them back together but what i have done cant be forgotten so why do i feel that i shouldn't be the one to beg on my knees and it should be you that looks into the soul  have longing for so long since my steps to you took me farther from myself can i give you this new heart if i can be the one who left the imprint of tears in the deep black void of what i destroyed that had been the beat of life

Beauty and beast how can I hope to have you in this life that I call my own I see in the mirror the chaos I bestow my shoulders weighing them down as I think to myself can the beauty feel sorrow I can so easily taste I look up to my ceiling to see the blank space as the chaos lifts from my shoulders I feel hands lifting it away I can finally see a reflection of my smile so why isn't my beauty with my smile as I fall to nothingness not even by her guiding hand of dream do I have her

I stare across the sea to the sunset cascading down the horizon and feel the ocean tide brushing its hands to my feet as i step further into the the waters i can feel its arms starting to embrace me as the sun begins to become nothing but a shade of its former self as i take the plunge into the depths of the water i can the ringing of the chains that ties my fate i struggle to break of them and as i finally fall i am released of the chains and released of the embrace as i wait for my dreams to stand over the nightmare of the fate that i had broken

Blood is dripping and flowing from these wounds that I can't remember where they came from as the drops of this crimson gold hit the floor  why isn't stained why can't it  feel like the dampness of a puddle of water soaking through my skin have I gone numb have I lost too much blood to know  I am falling why is there no stopping this I feel the crash of porcelain and the rushing of water as I take a breath to know I am there all I feel is despair and it's leaving through my wrists which lie on the pristine white tub

the crimson sky begins to fall I see the stars beginning to shine I look up to see them smiling down on me and I hear the voices of those who have past to bring the stars  I look to see the whispering willows spreading the darkness of the night beyond their reach to take away the brilliance of the sky and as the night becomes true to the dark the sky begins blacken as I cry to those who have fallen for their light to bring my eyes to the path I must take I see the lady in black carrying the lantern that seals the fate  of those who wish and once I feel my soul become cold and ashen I finally saw my light so why can’t I put a star into the sky that now becomes the dawn

As my skin lay rotting on the ground beside my feet I can see my heart beating in my chest within the beat of my heart can restore that which is lost among the remnants of the past and as I lay my head to rest I feel the cool dark embrace of the winds of change that envelope my soul to see the beauty that you see in me I find a future dripping among my veins

I am sorry so sorry for the way that i left your heart in the shambles that of my hands that gripped too tightly for so long as the pieces fall around me i try to piece them back together but what i have done cant be forgotten so why do i feel that i shouldn't be the one to beg on my knees and it should be you that looks into the soul  have longing for so long since my steps to you took me farther from myself can i give you this new heart if i can be the one who left the imprint of tears in the deep black void of what i destroyed that had been the beat of life

I give away my heart to you only to watch you pierce it with your gaze watching the blood drip down your chest and see it begin to melt the ice that surrounds your heart as i have hope i can melt such tundra of blank dead cold i watch as you proceed closer to me and as you go to begin speaking the tear falls from my eyes and the heart stops beating i have lost what i thought was treasure and as my tear finally ripples on the ground your back is already turned and you are leaving jewels of eyes and you walk beyond the horizon to be never seen i pick up the remnants of what you left behind to watch as they begin to beat once more

Glistening that light from the sun on the break of a new day I awake to see the new morning dew that lines the blades of grass i struggle to pull the sheets off and the nightmare begins I am unable to speak but I hear them all those accursed voices “ you are worthless “ bellowing inside my head as I try to shake my head to come back to the equilibrium where I am ambivalent towards the hatred in my heart and as I leave to see the world the light that had greeted me so kindly now makes me want to nothing but run “ NO ONE CARES “  why must I be unable to curb these demons that claw at my psyche I am falling apart and the tears and emotions are overwhelming as I retreat back to my bed and the safety of my room only to have these demons tug away at my Feet “ YOU CANT BE THERE FIRST LOOK AT YOU “ and as the hours go by and as the time becomes none I see the moon falling upon my window and the tears drying upon my cheeks so why do I feel so warm can I sleep for ever or is that not something that I deserve “ SLEEP IS GOOD I AGREE “ as the words take me away to the bliss I wish I had

Bring out the dead that lay across this barren wasteland and as I begin to pick up the bodies and put them to the fire where the smell of death permeates every oriface of my body I plant a seed for each body I drag away from this scene after the time seems to last forever I am left with nothing but ashes and a empty land and a empty heart and as I am done a wind carries the ashes of the dead along the land to rebirth it in beauty as I sit near the roaring fire realizing I can never leave I sit here and see the flowers beginning to bloom over time and as I come to the end of my life I will never be able to see the work I have cultivated but those flowers will see the beauty as they stare always forward looking to the sun

I look out on to the rolling plains that captivate me and I begin to stroll along the knolls and as I begin to the fire begins to spread out from my feet and within moments the entire field is a blaze and I see the distant images of the people burning and beginning to melt apart but there is silence and peace why is this so intoxicating of a feeling but as I begin to drink it in the screams break me back into the reality I stare at so even with all my tears for you why can't I put it out I can't save anyone am I truly what I believe

I lay here beside the crackling fire hearing break on the silence of night and I look around I see the fireflies dancing around in way that remind of you oh so long ago as the fire crackles once more I look in panic toward the night sky seeing the stars that cascade against the ebony backdrop and no matter where I look I keep seeing back to the moments and times where I could light up by the smile or brightened by  sweet nothings again the fire crackles and I look back to the fire and I see the temptation dancing in the blaze more alluring than I could have thought and in that moment when I cry a tear for I thought was true the fire dies out but still leave the embers and the heat to keep me safe  so why did I leave why did carry on when that fire was the best thing I could have had in life

As the blood and water runs down my back  I am reminded of the past running through that film wheel of my life and all the sepia making it seem better than it was I see it projected onto the wall I can see the smiles but I can't see the happiness that my brain said was there and as I can finally notice the blood stopping I leave this night and as I step out this shower in which I could wash away the sins of my past I can feel the blood beginning to ooze out again and as I go the film wheel I begin to break and tear it apart once I am lying on this cold ground weeping tears which I thought were all gone I am greeted by the hand of my present and as it begins to patch the wound of my past I no longer feel that crimson warmth  I only feel that warmth I had so long seeked as it smiles towards me I can see it gleaming and blinding but why is this one not empty

Here I stand in front this mirror that shows this piece of meat I call my body .as I run my hands along the creases and folds I learn to hate each part that creates this feeling of envy. it's such a ugly grip on my life I can't cast it aside. even though it wittle away at me sliver by sliver maybe if I let it run through its course it take enough chunks of this horrific abomination I am. I walk by that mirror and glare at it with the embers wrath that have sparked from inside me but wait was that. I saw something that didn't look like but could it really be no that pain is permanent?

As I stand here in this gorge looking at the river in which splits in half I can see that which I have left behind and as much it may be a side where the grass is truly green and I can see those little bugs that will eat away at them and sour it and turn it to acid and rot away the facade that keeps it green  and as I look to the other side I can see it may be barren but everything is there that I need to till it and turn it to into a field of flowers so I am never alone and never sad in there beauty and as I step over the river I can feel the burdens and troubles slowly sloughing off of me and this light feeling is is like flying it's ecstasy

As they sparkle and glisten in the ebony sky I see those effervescent stars and as the darkness drapes along the sides of my vision and I am funnelled towards the glory the have and as I run my hands through the grass and feel the dew on the grass and it seems to make everything seem more translucent and as I am able to see a little more clearly the curtains of darkness are becoming more light and I see them wave among the breeze and it's that hair the hypnotized me and as the stars becoming more visible it's the stars of your eyes that are so resplendent and captivating I am in heaven if even for a moment I will capture it for the eternity of what it is

Staring at the tops of these trees as the bellow in the wind I can see the animals doing as nature guides them too. I look to the people walking along the trail that this forest shows to the world. I trace my finger over my heart and as I feel it beat from beneath me I am realizing that it beats out of order.  I take my first steps in the forest that seems to be so normal for others but it terrifies me knowing that there only seems to be one path. I skittishly take my first step and I fall over and begin to bleed and lose my mind. Is this what life will become preordained by a force that I can't see if so it's a ******* for making not able to follow it's footsteps. I run off the path that is craved in front of me and as I cut my face and everything else on my body I covered in blood and mud but is this a oasis or a mirage. I see a grotto of crystalline water and I can hear voices that soothe the lost parts of me and as I close my eyes there is the mist that feels like it's trying clean off this corrupted soul.

Elizabeth
Showing me my heart
Showing me my self
Breaking the glass I keep
Breaking the secrets I don't speak
Elizabeth
Allowing  the real me to come around
Allowing the rust from my spirit to fade
Fixing what I thought was broken
Fixing what I had given up on
Elizabeth
I am all over the place yet you still care
I am not what you deserve
I am what you can have
I am the one who helps show you love
Elizabeth
I am slowly breaking away the pieces
I am showing in the cracks
I am fixing what I hate
You are allowing the room  
I have obtain tools I need to put my mind
In the state I need
I have learned so much
From someone I wasn't sure I would need
And thank you for being a bright spot
In this void I can't leave

Do you break the silence can you hear the hope crack as my tears roll along the lines of my cheek you gave the words that my heart held on to for the entirety of my life I came to your life as the breath left your chest why have you left me I can no longer feel my heart it is dying as the days go on I have never felt the ducts of despair run dry you gave me the way of happiness so why can't I hold you to climb from these pits that I lie oh god the walls oh god the light both are closing in and away

Can you hear it those wails of pain trembling through the cracks in my heart can you feel it the blood dripping down my fingertips as I slide them down your cheek I can't hold on to this it slips through my fingers but comes out clean everytime I am seeking and searching but all I find is this false hope which paralyzed me still I can hear it cackling at me from a distance even when it isn't there I am doomed to live in the bask of its remnants or die in the shadow of its promise

As I stand upon this cliff looking out into the endless ocean I can see the cascading waterfall that is below and I can hear it's thunderous roars drowning out my thoughts and drowning out my actions I am thinking that atleast there would be beauty in my death if I leapt from here and as I can feel the morning dew gliding underneath my feet  and as I move back a little bit I get to a point where I can take that running start and as I move as fast as I can I jump into the ocean below and I am flying and I finally feel free like the birds I wish I could be and as the wind rips away and the skin and peels away my sorrow and stings me with a feeling that is long lost I finally can see the bottom and as I crash into the depths of the water I can hear the people that are around me cheering and jeering and a ruckus happiness so why am I so dead that I don't know how to be with them

I stare to the sky I see the smile of those I have loved as I try to cry for the thousandth time I close my eyes and want the tears to roll down my cheek pitter patter the rain drops falls upon my cheek I see now and I thank you for my tear you may have given me the endless sadness that I feel but even among the brightest of stars you are still able to be the only one who can point me the direction I need as I go move my feet and the rain begins to pour I feel the wind push me back why is this you wanting more

Drag me unto the ground for I have sinned upon for that which I have loved I am brow beaten and cut bleeding and dying for the undying love that I have felt I am eternally in heaven and I feel none of the pain as it courses through my veins and as I become still I can pass on to the point of no return because of that of which I have felt and as I close my eyes to die I realize that I am waking to the new dawn and even in my dreams that happiness is a fleeting hope that runs at the speed of light and as I begin to stand at the attention of this new day all I want is that comfort and love but only sleep can bring me that pain but due to this nagging kink I am stuck here in this limbo that I call life

I am in tears I am breaking so why is there no sadness have I become so numb to the pain or have I finally gone cold hope is in my life so why am I stricken with fear there is love in my world so why can't I smile I am confused upon this life but have never felt more aware of it I am truly alive am I right what is this you speak to me I'm not alive this ain't right I reach for your hand to guide me to the greener side and I can see the deception in your eyes as I run from it I keep my legs going to realize I am stuck in place and as I bat away your kindness and refuse the decitful eyes I am truly unmoving  you can take me away from my pain I give up oh there it is the skeleton of myself how warming the past is I need this thank you oh death for I am now happy in this life