As I stand here in this gorge looking at the river in which splits in half I can see that which I have left behind and as much it may be a side where the grass is truly green and I can see those little bugs that will eat away at them and sour it and turn it to acid and rot away the facade that keeps it green  and as I look to the other side I can see it may be barren but everything is there that I need to till it and turn it to into a field of flowers so I am never alone and never sad in there beauty and as I step over the river I can feel the burdens and troubles slowly sloughing off of me and this light feeling is is like flying it's ecstasy

As they sparkle and glisten in the ebony sky I see those effervescent stars and as the darkness drapes along the sides of my vision and I am funnelled towards the glory the have and as I run my hands through the grass and feel the dew on the grass and it seems to make everything seem more translucent and as I am able to see a little more clearly the curtains of darkness are becoming more light and I see them wave among the breeze and it's that hair the hypnotized me and as the stars becoming more visible it's the stars of your eyes that are so resplendent and captivating I am in heaven if even for a moment I will capture it for the eternity of what it is

As the forest canopies echo with sounds of birds and nature all around me I look to the ground and see the broken sticks and the hallowed out trees that have allowed time to corrode away at what they once were and as I look deeper and deeper into this forest I can see a gentle brook that flows ever farther into the heart of these woods and the green is spreading from it and as I take a sip from the small body of water I notice it not slowed nor should it be by then why does the mind let me not continue am I not the nature that this was meant to serve or am I just destined to be the dam that has built up over the time  and sadly for me I can't break it and as I come to the open space that seems like something should be there I move forward and as I approach and encroach on this beauty every thing dies and becomes just as Hallow as my heart and this forest and as I leave this nightmare that lights shines back on that place I guess my heart is better without me

I walk among the streets covered in the colours of the autumn skyline looking towards the river where I once a stupid child catching frogs and being a kid and as I remember back to that time I hear 3 words echoing with each critter I caught **** YOURSELF ZACK  repeating to drive me mad  and as I run away from it to bring myself to the place I find to soothe my soul I hear another 3 words JOIN THEM ZACK  and as I am brought to tears and consider follow the instructions that my brain so eloquently told me the seasons pass and the years go by every year hearing those same 3 words **** YOURSELF ZACK and as everything comes to a head and I see my opportunity everywhere I walk as the easy way speeds by me so many times I look to hear a new voice LOOK SWEET DEATH  as the horn of the dead whizzes by me and as I am wallowing in the shadow of what life has become  I have no where to turn other than ever so life giving water that made me stupid all those years ago but I hear the 3 last words I ever thought to hear YOU ARE LOVED

Bring out the dead that lay across this barren wasteland and as I begin to pick up the bodies and put them to the fire where the smell of death permeates every oriface of my body I plant a seed for each body I drag away from this scene after the time seems to last forever I am left with nothing but ashes and a empty land and a empty heart and as I am done a wind carries the ashes of the dead along the land to rebirth it in beauty as I sit near the roaring fire realizing I can never leave I sit here and see the flowers beginning to bloom over time and as I come to the end of my life I will never be able to see the work I have cultivated but those flowers will see the beauty as they stare always forward looking to the sun

As I stand upon this cliff looking out into the endless ocean I can see the cascading waterfall that is below and I can hear it's thunderous roars drowning out my thoughts and drowning out my actions I am thinking that atleast there would be beauty in my death if I leapt from here and as I can feel the morning dew gliding underneath my feet  and as I move back a little bit I get to a point where I can take that running start and as I move as fast as I can I jump into the ocean below and I am flying and I finally feel free like the birds I wish I could be and as the wind rips away and the skin and peels away my sorrow and stings me with a feeling that is long lost I finally can see the bottom and as I crash into the depths of the water I can hear the people that are around me cheering and jeering and a ruckus happiness so why am I so dead that I don't know how to be with them

They say if you stare into the void the void stares back into you well what happens when people keep gazing into eyes and never seem to leave am I the broken one or are they I am labouring over this and I don't know how to bring it to light and as I realize that the next person looks at me I can finally feel a fire lighting up inside of me what is this feeling it is terrifying me to my very core and as they leave my sight I can't move is the empty feeling that I leave in people but why do I want to follow this person as I run to the firgure looming in the horizon I realize that this feeling is love and it is breaking me but in the best way