I miss what we had
Twisted
Alone
Broken
We've grown far apart
Losing
Crying
Hurting
You've moved on, it seems
Independent
Carefree
Rebellious
I haven't moved on
Clinging
Hoping
Searching
Your texts still make me smile
Guilty
Addicted
Confused
But your smile makes me wilt
Sinking
Withdrawing
Frowning
Your happiness reflects my pain
Great
New
Visible

I'm leaving this pain behind
I don't need it anymore
I can't be friends with this person I don't know
She doesn't want that anyway
She just wants to prevent
Another death
From another
Depressed
Hurting
Being
She doesn't want to become
Just friends either
She wants separation
Forever
To be left alone by the annoying
mosquito
That buzzes and buzzes
In her ear
Trying to remind her
She isn't single
She's promised love
She's said she cares
She swatted at this pest
Missed a few times
And hit it
Struck it down
Until it ceased
it's incessant buzzing

I wish I could be the Jude to your Lucy still
But I can't think of my love without feeling ill
I promise I'll stay safe, stay away from these pills
I promise as a lover, who's felt loves cold chill
You meant the world to me
I lived for you, you know
Now that you're gone, a hole is left
Gaping bigger than a black one
Stretching out forever
Leaving me scarred, unable to function
The end

I thought we could figure things out
I thought this could work
But the second you told me
That forever wasn't possible yet
I knew it would end like it did
I knew it would hurt us
I knew it wouldn't be happy.
I knew it had to happen
Because I can't stay in something that's draining my life
My soul and my vitality, my livelihood's turned it's back on me
The person I live for, lives for something else
Someone else
Somewhere else
Eyes open, but not processing
Ears hearing, but not listening
Nose, dripping, but it doesn't matter anymore
Your tears are yours again
They're no longer mine
No longer will I be trying to find
an answer to the questions that seemed simple at first
Where are you?
Who are you with?
Why are you ignoring me?
The progression goes on
The I'm sorry's come out
The promises of change
I've heard all about
The lies and deceit
That fills up those words
I'll be better now,
Without you
I'm determined to hit big
I want to do everything I wanted
But didn't because of you
I want the girls
I want all of them
I want to love each one
To remember what we had
Living a low life
Becoming a low life
Degraded from the pure love we had
Into this tainted, despicable mucus
with the guise of love
You don't love me
Don't lie
You don't care about me
Don't lie
You wanted this to be over
Don't lie
You wanted me to hurt
Tell the truth
As the words from my pen
write themselves on this page
I find that I'm struggling to find something to say
You meant everything to me
And you took that away
That your life works out well for you
I can only pray.

These cigarettes
Are keeping me alive
Without them, I'd cry
All the time
With them I'm broken
Needing a fix
Where packs turn to cartons
And ash piles high
I sit on my throne of ashtrays and ****
Wondering how I became King
My loyal subjects:
Marlboro, L&M;, Camel
Ready to let me die
Helping me to die
Without blowing my head off
Just smoke more cigarettes
Lung cancer at 25
When I was living, I was alive
Live fast, die young
That's the plan
I just didn't know
I'd die this young

With tears in my eyes
I think of you
I think of what was
I think of what could have been
I think of everything you brought me
And cry harder because it's gone.
I have no one to depend on anymore
I have no comforting figure
You can't make me feel better
When you're why I'm sad
I hate this life, and what I've become
Sullen, despondent, distant
My emotions kept hidden
You look at me now and you say this man's diseased
Well I am.
Or at least it feels like it
What's it called when your heart feels like it's dying?
What's it called when someone talking about you makes me sad? What's it called, where I wither away, a dead flower, lost in a sunlight world without life giving water and gently slip into the night?
This disease is called love, and it's more dangerous than greed
Because what love is
Is a need
A need for somebody
Somebody to be there
Somebody forever to hold you and cradle you gently while you weep
Somebody to grasp firmly in your arms like only time can break you apart
Someone to kiss so passionately that the 'cute couples' are jealous of that love
Someone worth dying for
And when love first grabs you
It treats you like a king
It pampers you
It spoils you
And then it spoils
Then it becomes sour
3 month old milk
You're an old plaything Woody,
Don't you know there's so much else?
There's the parties
The drinking
The drugs
The hot guys
Don't you see, Woody, you helped me one time
To get through the tough times
But that doesn't matter now
My new friends are calling
Good bye Woody
And just like that
You cast me aside
Threw me in the trash
And went along with your life
You may be broken
But not as broken as me
You crashed your car at 20
You crashed mine at 80
I desperately seek the only one that can comfort me
But you're too far away
Too busy.

A mind is a terrible thing to waste
A mind can bring you to new heights
A mind can show you the right way
A mind can be creative, and interesting

A mind can be evil, filled with sour thoughts
A mind can imagine destruction, and revel in it
A mind can bring the world to an end
A mind can ****

A mind is a terrible thing to waste

Is she *******
Or
Shaking from the cold

Clasped cigarette
In
The night as she feels alone

Tears stream down
Our
Faces and onto our sleeves

Quiet 'I love you's
But
It's seems loves not enough anymore

I want to try
Please
If you let me pick up the pieces

Trust me, don't ask
Why
I want to be with you

I love you
And
I never will or have another

You are special to me
You
Make my days shining bright

And though
It seems we're far apart

I know
I can't repair a broken heart