Anxiety is at the heart of all that ails me
like my best friend ever, it has always been with me
So familiar, my anchor in the dark
I return to it endlessly to remind me that this is just like the rest
This new thing, this new test
is just the familiar torture you've known all your life

By my side, it destroys my mind, and I can't stop
this addiction, will always be with me,
The lies it tells me, that this turbo spinning depleting energy keeps me safe
That the constant tension that translates into fear and self hate
Is as it should, as it was set up for me
And blocks me, just when I want most to be free and easy

Letting go of my best friend, so scary, and feels so light
and beautiful, like the afternoon sun in a quiet garden
where everything is colorful and peaceful and the air is fresh and warm
and there is the smell of water from a hose...slightly rusty with an aromatic humidity
and little birds flutter about, and a sound of a buzzing insect appears occasionally
All is well, and from here I can do anything
but I catch myself: I am not safe without my best friend
and the ax falls down into the scene and it is now night and I am hungry and cold
and unwelcome and stalked and frightened, as it should be.

Anxiety is my enemy
It keeps me from this delight in life
and I can go on: and when I meet it again
I shouldn't welcome it in like a friend, but finally
be honest about it and say: go away
You have no use anymore in my life
You served me at one time, but that time is over
and you must evaporate
and I must face the fear alone, without you
You stay back, and I go forward, with courage.

Death I see, that ugly spectre,
Coarsely overshadows youth.
Lame, they look for interaction
With the bondman.  Shame, forsooth!

Drowning in the dams of liars
When they could be shining lights!
They believe what e’er is told them,
****** in by the TV sights.

Culture told them there’s no future,
There’s no healing for despair.
Bet they never read the Bible –
Words of LIFE spelt loud and clear.

There’s no need for this attrition
Of our children.  Give them truth.
Let them listen to the old ones –
Hard they learned the facts of life.

By the power of scripture they have
Overcome the skull and bones.
Into joy and peace they’re marching.
Youth could follow in those zones.

Up to them to stop and listen.
Perhaps the media got it wrong.
Find a person in their nineties,
Who survived the wars and so on.

They are old because their attitude
Enabled them to plunge right in,
Boots and all in right perspective,
Shake and move, the truth to win.

They’ve believed in right and beauty,
Principles and sacrifice.
Not for them the great self pity
Serving death – man-trap device.

Rather they’ve bent over backwards
To embrace another’s need,
And serving, felt the great dynamic  
LIFE FORCE.  Yes.  They were a breed!

Not a word spoken.
Not a word to speak.
A single glance that lingers, at what once was.
A image of oneself,
A love we thought would last.
In its place an unmet desire,
To be complete,
To be full again.

The darkness that surrounds my heart.
A welcoming evil grin.
The shadow that clouds the light,
not of my own, But the fear that stands before me,
that rules me.

An empty shell of a former self.
For you have stolen what was left.
The last of my soul I gave to you.

As time passes all hope fades.
A quiet sound this emptiness brings.
A single  prayer seeps through,
Only but a whisper.
That as time and hope begins to dull,
I may finally be able to let go

You take there pride, there roar,
what goar..
      You take there skin and get some win?
take that shot,
oh whatta sin
there sold just bought.
that thaught must rot..
there little cubs chopped down to nubs,
oh why oh why,
you'd join there clubs   You take the time.
to aim for gone,
good by nature, Sorrow spirit, they so wrong
last lion song..

they say "hell is empty and the devils are here"
i guess then it makes sense, that at night i see all of my deepest fears
the ghouls and the ghosts and the demons are real
they come to live in the minds of men who can't feel
they inhabit the bodies of bosses who fuel corporate greed
they're bloodthirsty animals, just desperate to feed
they feed on your hope until there is nothing left
your colours get erased and they leave you bereft
and when you find that your life has dulled to a gray
maybe you'll realize that you have nothing to say
because you're just like the rest, you've become a clone
you're nothing more than a corporate american drone
my biggest fear is that this will happen to me
i'm petrified of the soulless shell i could come to be
so try as i might, and try as i may
i'll do what i want, no, i won't obey
i'm going to live by my very own laws
i'll fight to the end, and stay true to our cause
i refuse to be like my mom, striving for perfection
my every last thought will show through my own reflection
i won't be a slave to your american dream
i'll be myself, even if i have to scream

She came into this world
By accident.
Never planned,
But her parents
Didn’t regret a thing.

She grew up with
Her hands stretched out,
Hungry for knowledge
And taking in
Everything she
Could reach.

She was only 9 years old,
When she saw both her parents
Screaming at each other.
She didn’t understand,
“Why are mummy and
Daddy fighting?”
She asked as tears
Started to fall from
Her eyes to her
Delicate skin.
Her parents sighed as
They knew it wasn’t
Working out.
Things were crashing down.

She was only 10 years old
When her daddy left her.
As he carried his bags
Out the door,
She cried,
“Where are you going, daddy?”
He left, without a word.

She grew up,
Without love.
She grew up,
Believing  that
Love is the problem.

She never trusted love.
She never wanted love.
She never needed love.

She was only 13
When she took
Her first puff
Of cigarette.
She was hoping
That her misery
Would fade away,
Just like the smoke.

She was only 15
When she was suicidal.
Nobody knew about
Her struggles.
Nobody knew
She cried herself
To sleep, wishing everything
Was different and simple.
Her wrist was like
Her own canvas,
Covered with scars,
New and old.

She was drowning,
In her miseries.
All she wanted
Was someone to save her,
Or least teach her
How to swim,
But no one did.

She was drowning,
As she watched
People around her
Minding their own lives.

Till this day,
She’s still
Drowning,
Still
Struggling.

And no one
Cares enough
To save her.

I may seem so heavenly in all the things I say
The words that fly with silken wings may chase your gloom away
But I, in all, tell lies of love, for I've found not one that lasts
So I apologize to you for poems of the past
Tears fall continually into the pen with which I write my words
Manipulating romantic tendencies so I may somehow be heard
But even the most vile demon can speak words of honeydew
But all you'll find is with those words they run off to hell with you
So look at me beyond this shell and say those three words again
And if you find they are sincere, I will stay until the end
But until my scribblings on this paper turn to played-out verbs
Beware of me and of promises, for they may be only words...

I can't make you want me.
I can't make you care,
About my feelings or emotions,
You left my heart bare.
I cry over you,
Although I know it wont faze you.

Tears fall from my eyes,
As I try to forget you.
It hurts to be unwanted,
Left to the side,
Forgotten about in the blink of an eye.
I feel so insignificant,
So incredibly small,
Knowing that I meant nothing at all.

But I can't make you want me.
I know you don't care.
As much as I want you,
You'll never be there.