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 Jan 2013 Zach Gordon
August
It's sleeting
And all I can do is keep on thinking
Smoke used to look so lovely
Light grey and twirling
But I took a photo of me
It was spilling out of my mouth
And it looked dark as night
I picked up my pack
And on the front
Black against white
In big letters
It read DEATH
I opened it up
My fingers chilled
And shaking
And started breaking
Each cigarette
Toss them on the ground
I start to turn away
But then I glance back
I'm weak
I pick them up
And tape them
Back together
Sometimes it reaches
It's peak
And then it dips
Back down
And I come back
Around & light
Another one up
© Amara Pendergraft 2013
 Jan 2013 Zach Gordon
August
Raw
Tender
Exposed
Paranormal
Spectre spectacle
Nearly translucent
Wearing a little
Black dress
Oh so lovely,
Nice black stockings
Pale as a little
Ghosty
I'm ever fading
Please,
Pull me back
Into a place
Called 'tangible'
Oh no.
My eyes
Widen with fear
As I disappear
*whoosh
© Amara Pendergraft 2013
 Dec 2012 Zach Gordon
Jake Spacey
out of body, out of mine
floating lamely
doormatted to the floor
peripherals in my head
always find you
i can wish, i can dream
but i promised to leave
and you don't love me
i lied, i can't prove it
please, i know i'm crazy
but i'm not dumb
"now you're heartless
and i'm done"
 Dec 2012 Zach Gordon
Jake Spacey
hear your name
one more time
drive it home
let the messages play
turn it up
let them scream
cause it's not in me
totally starving
take it all
stuff my face
pass out on the floor
i'll leave
i miss you
i love you
where are you?
do you miss me?
do you love me?
hear your name
one more time
drive it home
answering machine conversations/you were travelling
 Dec 2012 Zach Gordon
Jake Spacey
one more cup, i can stay awake
a little more stress, a little more weight
face to face, all those words i said
to my friends
escape
just keep running, it's all a mistake
one more drink, i'll be fine
a little more stress, a little longer in bed
ran into my words
now they're stuck in my head
i'm so heavy, glutinously dreading
blaring alarms, i'm gone
this time
but don't miss me
this time
i'm gone
this time
EDNOS/structure of lies
 Dec 2012 Zach Gordon
August
Beauty is but a construction
               Of our mind.
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
When you sit still
For a moment in time
You see things
You wouldn't
Normally find
I didn't know
The bees were out
I had no clue
The sun felt warm
Moving fast
Just does
You harm
The air
It smells
Of burning dreams
No one knows
What's in between
The sidewalk air
The hammers loud
I remember
Everything
I've found
 Dec 2012 Zach Gordon
Jake Spacey
pinching, pull it
seeing and control it
mistaken and you're gone again on some stupid ******* tangent inside your head where you hate everything related to yourself, when hopelessness isn't at anyone's feet but yours to collect a name for blaming, you can't forget her ******* name and you say cliche **** like "life won't ever be the same" and then you stuff your face with warm-cold-anything and continue 'til you're old and wonder "where'd the time go?"
eating disorders and obsessing
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