I thought I had bigger plans than you
but if you're true
I wont hesitate to blush too
so keep me around boo
cuz you're so smooth
and that's true
:)

Procession of Recession
Regression of Profession
Art Erudition, An Elicition
Of all projection upon electation
Ethereal nation, Art re-reprensatation
Cubism in formation
Van Gogh in  elation
Picasso in sensation
I go in formation
A lasso in preperation
For all thats been hold
In permanent erasion
An erosion of obession
Lesson in raising whats been
Held in decision
But whats next
is held in preperation
whats next is held in preperation
An alteration of sensation
Elastic time reprimatation.

She smells like wisdom, but oh so sweet
I want to lay next to her in bed
Picking her brain, shes too smart for her own good
So many questions going through her head

Trying to create a philosophy that would love her like they did

"Ohh you're my religion" she said
"Ohh you're my religion" she said

But they didn't understand what they had
Treated her like they were sacrilegious
She bore the brunt of they're indifference
Hung herself on a cross like she was Jesus

"Ohh my religion is dead"
"Ohh my religion is dead"
               She said

Trying to create a new philosophy that would love her better then they did

Too smart for her own mental health
So much love to give to someone else

So many thoughts going through her mind
The bad ones I'll quiet and soothe
I want to watch her eyes flutter towards the sky

Watch her create a new philosophy that would love her like I do

Love comes in
Like a high tide
Ocean swells gripping
At the foundation
Flooding the basement
Of my heart

Raptured like a cocoon
Exploding black butterfly ooze
Cluttered with skyboxes in the room
Feels like I'm on ice, about to crack through

My body lies dormant in anxious
Wait for a sudden burst of fate
Fears swallow, rob me of language
Ice water runs through my veins
With ethanol, caffiene, nicotine and morphine and sometimes something else to sedate

Chaos of oceanic thunder
Loud, sharp static
Crashing to pull me asunder
Thrashing under the maelstrom
I find comfort in the tides
And open my gills
I'll swim with your pull
And coast with your push
I will rise again.

I'd rather not go out on Halloween
Rather stay inside and
Summon the dead

Invite them in from the cold
For some tea and a warm bed

i saw you on facebook and i started writing instinctively. ******* A... These emotions better not start getting the best of me. Another late night. I have things to do and clothes to wash. FUCKKKK

Dont be afraid
Fears will tear you apart

I know from experience.

Anti meta
Comcrete set up  
Setters of faulty
Metaphors for people
Who lift up lofty heads
But live up to sheeple
Templetes originated
from deathly dates
With themselves
us who help also need help    
Dark and light felt
Then dealt like oh well
Welp in the wealth of emotion
a potion of feathery pelts donned
Like ethreal dust held on songs
time pawned from before time
When life was long,
horizons  dawn  held in cymatics
of gongs, elastic and long light
Semantics derived of mind
Conciousness aligned like nature upon paper
The concious cant arrive at a savior. Plight of those lost in the layered  reality catered to totality
the  fader is  banality
Launches fate in fame and fatality

Such an insecure person
Only find security in illusions.
Fiend for everyones acceptance
Solace of escapism, its necessity ...

Double edged knife that cuts me and those closest the deepest.

Disheveled and mutated. Ugly shell of what it used to be. Our government curated by the CEO Neo-Con warheads with nuclear weapon arms and drone strikes aimed at every other countries heart. Hawks of the most grotesque nature. Warhawks with bombs of freedom and democracy. The right to social justice and free choice are properties of the US. Yet those same words "Property of the US" line those missles, the only freedom they ring is freedom from this world. Free to dive into the afterlife.

Staunch support to policies of corrpution. Reeking of ****** and money. Dressed in red and green, piles of each, blood and money line their legacies. Facades played out in media like a family soap opera. Facsist facades play out in legislature, tyranny inducing consequences. Justice not served as they rally around the mottos of "Just us". As in just us rich and powerful get to pass laws. Just us white and privileged get walk away from cops without a 12 Guage bullet in the brain. As in just us media pundits know about politics.  In jusice they have no belief. Only selfish belief of "just us".

Oligarchic and xenophobic. Slandering the people's knowledge like we don't feel the ***** hand of power encasing us in its ****** grips. Convincing out of fear we are all each other's worst enemies due to color religion or Politcal theory. Propaganda created shackles out of freedom and enslaved us in our own good will.

The ***** roots of our skyscrapers poison the soul because what they rake in at the top is dollars made from death and destruction. From the creation of war refugees and third world farmer suicides they install suede in the penthouse. The money has created shackles out of freedom and enslaved us.

Money can sweep up blood, sweat and tears easier then a mop and broom.

I flip through webpages
All of them, so amazing, unique
I forget all of them the next day

"We fall in love with idealized versions of our future self."

Doing that is bad for your mental health

I dont know what it is I said
                                     My blankets sewed me to my bed
The cotton stitched into me
           As thoughts turned rotten always do
                                 Held me down like lead
A cotton edge wrapped itslef around my shoulders
                                                     around my neck
Up to my head and said
                                "Ill keep you here until you are dead"

My biggest mistake
To stop writing while presenting
To draw not representing
Repressing music inundated
With the light softened by glow
Not here too often
Too often in another worldly flow
Too depressing
Not fully accepting
Hate in myself defining
Nothing I have is mine n
Nothing I have is mine
Dissection of thoughtlines
possession of self dying
I need my ego
And if I said I didn't I was lying
Ressurection of self riding
On two sphinx wings flying
Read these words whilst dying

Feeling so numb
Isnide an empty skull
Thoughts drum
        Rat-at-tat-tat  
Body shucked and hulled
Just the inside, a soul
Remains to cull
Processing as a whole
The inner realm in full
Is not always so fun

Wrapped in garments of yesterday
in thoughts that have festered away

****** into another year. Another decay
There was one who proposed to save.

In his honor, we must continue
Continue to pave the way

Into a new revolution, into a new way to save
what our founding fathers tried to create

The new constitution
The next institution is up to us to pave.

My minds in space
My hands in ground
        Only Sometimes

My thoughts race
My hearts bound
        Only Sometimes

        Change is constant
But Only Sometimes

Into the ego I face

... Move Past.
Into the world , where I'm found

Sometimes only lasts forever.

I spend more time in dreams than awake

Peers deem me irresponsible

Its true. Im always late to class

I. An irresponsible ***.

My parents let me run around
Trashing everything around me

Now I run around my mind
Thrashing at every thought of mine

Im never going to be completely there

For you

Ill be too caught up in myself
In my drugs

While you're ******* everyone and everything

I didnt even realize how much it hurt then
But I do now

Maybe ill try to be all there next time
Maybe itll be real love
instead of lust

Maybe ill try harder
Maybe ill kick all these addictions

To people
to you
To Drugs

Maybe im being neurotic
and you're actually a good person

and Im insane

Faint smell of waste. Rotting garbage, feces and human body order. The room reeked of an intolerable stench. Cracked eggshells, molding lettuce, slices of beefsteak tomatoes, month old used coffee grounds, and a pair of peed on gym socks among countless other smelly disgusting things like cat ****.
"Close the ******* garbage can"
' it stinks as much as your guilty conscious'
My hand flung forward with indecision, still closed into a fist. What was I striking? I couldn't see and didn't want hurt myself like so many times before. Schizophrenic, pleaded with with myself. Time slowed to make room to for chaotic thoughts. Slow motions, knuckles seeped into a black goo. Other hand flat, slapped at the abyss. The darkness grabbed me by both hands and dragged me into myself.
A full moon and a tender loving voice. Blackness.
A brewing fire floating above a swimming pool like the eye of a pyramid where deities danced. Everybody I saw under its light gazed towards the idealization of eternal salvation. I stared at the pool, fire, pyramid and its constituents. Blackness.
A maze of hallways. Red-brown brick, vinyl, some glass looking down at the pool where children baptized themselves while parents drank the poison of cultural self-identification.
'At least they know who and where they are'
I took a right, then a left then two more rights down a endless spiral. Blackness.
In angry reconstitution, my mind-state formed lists of things to be furious about. These lists of things were all in plain sight.
'An obvious case of nearsightedness'
The whole room had changed from how i once remembered. The bed was moved as well as the bed stand. Clothes scattered and materialistic shrine of self destroyed. The aura of the room had gone from blue to green. I pledged with violent resolution to solve my issues. Until I smelt the room poisoned with pheromones unlike mine. Until I dropped to my knees and felt somebody i loved and despised. Her smile greeted me while, simultaneously, my heart erupted like an early morning thunder shower. I always loved those type of showers.

I fell for you once
Now again as such
Fools who cant make minds
Get strangled in binds but..
It meant a lot you said sorry
Not a step into this folly
Time will disassemble and love me

Write, wrote, written. No matter what I've said, Im still kickin'
Life, love, livin. I view from the chair I sit in.
All the wonders the world is lit in
Dark, Light. Yin n Yang
Contrast is only hidden if you
cant view both the same

Shady eyes, Shady times
Im not sure if im fine
Got lies and lines laid out
Like what the **** Ima rewind time
Pay dont rise, paying fines
School only taught me to align
its lies, so i did lines railed out
like ima rewind time; **** this clout
Eighty nights, bubbly fine
Killin lines, killin my
Empty nights, bubbly like
Killin ryhmes, killin myself
Became fine in this blue life i laid out
But what the **** im in a drought
In the muck, bout to sell out
my soul to the devil, but im not ready now, its a buyers market
And i need a lot for my soul to darkin
Trying to get in my pocket? ... ya just sharkin
Try to harkin back to the old days
Might be a farce when forest fires alarm us of incoming disaster
Were caught in its larson
Stealing from the earth like they bought it
Maybe were brought in by those who've fought sin
By the lawful, justice but rarely applauded
By those who other dimensions have allotted us
Maybe were caught in an ascension
Too much for some men to mention
In these shady times. shady nights
Wth lies n lines laid out to hold minds in detention.
What the ****, time to rewind time
Go back to the new dimension

Like a heart beating under the floor
My self-respect is hidden  

Becoming, stepping out into the world
The regret stings. Now immediate but still lasting

I dont like to steal things and hide them away
behind lies and closet drawers
under my eyelids
past my bedroom door

Isolated and taking whats mine
Its not greed
Its the thrill of adventure
mixed with loathing

My self-respect hates it

I'm a glass half empty kind of guy

Wish I was the other type,
But logic says otherwise

Reprimanded cityscapes
Land fated in concrete slates
Date with disaster
A trait of nuerosis. Faster and complusive
Make moves on asphalt, elusive
Straight abusive of late
Centuries to make lenses of fate
Baited humanity
Takes debates of philosophies, psychologies to heart
Makes them fate
Mythologies and anthologies
Satiate the reasin we procreate
To recreate humanity in gods vision as we see today
Irregularities and tragic parodys parry us back to where we began. A ferry from the lqnd of eden. An apple eaten
Adam and Eve forbidden, corrosive and up for biddin'
poison inlayed in veins
You aint kiddin when you say youll eat my brain.
Sin and evil slain, i run back and forth in place between the yin and yang

You aint lyin when you say your insane. I love it baby
its just change not sense
In inflamed with your scent
Smell it everywhere i go
Youre millions to cents
Like a fairy lullaby or maybe Khoas
You shake, maybe we could lay in intamacy for infinity
A love song this became
Cadence inlayed in the movement of streets that seperate us. In sheets that penetrate us.
Imperative lust, imperfect trust
Who are you? a cusp between picses and aries? do you carry all that i felt and shared. Take care but hear in my lair, defeated lain upon slated heroes shared upon plated zeroes
Old ideas pirroueted like leos on a dance stage. Im a leo on this stage but you lay in my bed not sure if all i felt and shared is truly cared for.

Wrapped in an enigma
Passing stigmas like rigors
Barriers to climb that i figured
Would be easier but they return

Actions that will trigger
Anxieties and fast thoughts
Time to learn how to burn
The past and start over anew
Cleanse the soul of bitters
And be true and honest
The paradigm shift of self is upon
All of us. Who will we be
Manifest and see the future
Traumas will bleed but sutures
Can mend upon our thoughts
Something the self has taught
Again and again, time to begin again.
The  good can win when we recognize the shadows. A path a few follow
Step with caution and be humble
Words of cause mumbled and jumbled
Follow the good and evil, fumble with the balance. Trust in your talents then fall and crumble. Flow like a bumblebee, Sting like a hornet.

I cry myself to sleep every night
because I'm depressed
Will  my soul ever find sight?

Heat so hot moisture drops evaporate
into moss on my carpeted skin
Grass is growing upon my kin
Renovating the concrete sins
Of earth, of mind, of within

Philosohpy written
Experiences amalgated within
Brassy copper and metalish tin
Held inside organic fins and phalanges
Am i robot with my logical mind or am i freelancing rational thought
Am i in time or racing a clock?
Arrange me again
into Grass growing and trees budding
in unison

Resonate with these concrete sins of my mind, of earth.. of within

Let this heat so hot and cold so cold
melt the water in my soul
and rebuild it again in crystalline snowflakes drapped around my fragile skin.

Am i mossy snow? A sanguine man hinged upon the earth and humanities heavenly birth.
I hurt when I see hurt so
Try to exert a positive worth to all that is seen, felt and heard.

Listen like how the Earth permeates past its concrete sins
Im going to to try to levatate past whats holding minds within.

Physical pain is a mindset.

It's easier to ignore than mental anguish.

Bed with a body-shaped indent
I spend all day in it

Thoughts drugged, yet
I drag them through the mud

Ill fall apart
From a simple sentence
It's all tears

Lungs feel heavy when I dance
Sedate myself for the interview
A beer and a Xanax
Uncalm but patient is true
For I am contradictions
Yin and yang imbued
In body mind and soul actions
I can feel torn to a few
Small pieces, all colors
All a puzzle to glue
Back together
Oh mother , oh father
I am just both pieces of you

Lost my mind
So many times
Found it writing
Down these lines
Found it driving
Between these lines
Down dark highways
Where your face
is burned in time
You are the air
You are the sea
You're my kind
Your who you wanna be
Your face is there
reflected in mine
My eyes can't stand
to see you cry
Not with tears
But with your soul
So get high with me
Up in heaven we can be
Out in the desert
Or out on the sea
Your my land
Your my mind
That I lost so many times
But I found writing
Down lines
About you and me

Nobody ******* loves me
And I think its okay because
it would be terrible for them
to do such a thing.

I had a stash
Handful of pills
Thought it would last
Just enough to ****
All the pain
But
Enhance creativity too
It's a shame
All out gone but two

Here's my passowrd;

Dialect of the language of love
Spiritually digital connection

Ignoring is games played
Or maybe they have food in their mouths
Or talking to their mother

Or they say were they aren't.

Pouring rain in a dry street
Cresote turning and airing
Color blooms but always dies and goes back to grey dustclouds fluming in the distance while the sun is blocked
by a glowing resisteance of dust and agricultural waste and rust

I need to start opening my mouth
Before the words I swallow rip
A hole inside of me.

One I cannot stich.

If you come to this place you are welcome. Here you will find the freaks, the nuts, the outsiders - and they aren’t just kids. All ages of weirdos are here. All of these people engaged in what looks like meaningless chaos but in this chaos these people lose themselves...
All of these people are engaged through the bands, and the bands have a contract with the people. They all, all of them, in this night, in this moment, don’t have a care in the world. They aren’t concerned with doomsday, money, jobs, relationships, abuse, bullies, rapists, murders, whatever. They care about nothing. For now they are immortal. Behold the gods! And different from me,
t h e y a r e a l i v e.
The living gods.”

I cant take care of anything
Not even myself

I ******* hate this all.
Im gonna grow fat and ugly and miserable and lonely. Im gonna die just like my fish, without anyone to help.

Always finding another way
For a different day
Its in constant change
Another way to get paid
Another difficult thing to say

Slows like bubbles burst silently in air
Irisdescent floating densities
Quickness of a bubble wrap popping

Thought I needed so much help
I'm praying in dreams
Wondering if those still count

Ending the night
Drinking your favorite beer

is pretty good
if you're already drunk