Ending the night
Drinking your favorite beer

is pretty good
if you're already drunk

I'd rather not go out on Halloween
Rather stay inside and
Summon the dead

Invite them in from the cold
For some tea and a warm bed

Im never going to be completely there

For you

Ill be too caught up in myself
In my drugs

While you're ******* everyone and everything

I didnt even realize how much it hurt then
But I do now

Maybe ill try to be all there next time
Maybe itll be real love
instead of lust

Maybe ill try harder
Maybe ill kick all these addictions

To people
to you
To Drugs

Maybe im being neurotic
and you're actually a good person

and Im insane

It's hard to understand

A Rockstar with a drug problem

A Literary type with wine tasting ability

A business man keen on social sense

A Lover craving spiritual connection and growth

Layers of fallen leaves in autumn
Piles of gold and red and orange

Football fan with a blue jersey

Homeless but with a vigil eye
For those who try to hard

An addict to anyone who loves
Caring to much to touch
Love that comes unbound
All too quick and all too much

I am all I write above
Some of it lies....  to myself

A dove with a heavy heart
singing in my mind
Flying for a shelter of like-minded doves.

But who am I this time?
Rockstar, Lush,  Lover, Addict, Salesperson

I am a writer, or so I think...

Especially when I drink

I am all those things
I am assertion
Of life with many layers

Like other living beings
Like tree rings
Something you don't see
till lacerations
Cut the skin, cut the bark

Personality bleeds out
That's why I run to the closest person
Not the best
And I doubt it'll work out

She doesn't understand
I'm a Rockstar, Lush, Lover, Addict, Salesperson

Consumerist soul raging against itself
Artist running faucets of stealth
Hiding behind words
And guitar chords

She doesn't understand what I am.

A dove with a heavy heart
singing in my mind
Flying for a shelter of like-minded doves.

An addict to anyone who loves
Caring to much to touch
Love that comes unbound
All too quick and all too much

You are not all that you think you are
You're better than that

You are mosaics splashed with tropical colors and hazel eyes.

You are a collecter, not of lost time. But of your own dreams and loves.

You are a creator with too many points of inspiration.

You are lovely

The dark side of life's fears the grace with which you handle problems

Because your better than that

You are Artisan.

It's tough
When global corporations rapidly advance thier claims to **** our mother

It's unexpected
When the purpose of human evolution over Earth's time
          Security of life
          Understanding of ecology
          The means to a comfortable human existence

Is ignored in mass

And realization of self is shrugged off as part of a economic equation.

Are lives not more of meaning than numbers?

"Our lives are of more meaning than numbers"

Binary doesn't not express emotion.

Scientific method does not account for irrationality of man

Ecology isn't the process of resource accumulation with limited and high priced

Seperated and suffering humanity wrecks the heart of all

Rampant deforestation and ozone depletion squeeze the air out of all lungs

Genetic alteration of earthly material rips the ground upon which we all stand

It is within reason
That humans are only clever in regards to themselves

Always pulling the same lever expecting different results.

It is within reason
That we have an innate self interest and greed that generates only more of the same

Continually following the easiest path day after day

Jumping down the rabbit hole of insanity is supposed to lead the fathomed happiness that capital can claim.

In the rush to the rabbit hole and its great technological and economic advancements humanity is more divided.

It has always been divded.

Greed and envy preceded structure
Hate and lust preceded technology

More equations and technology will never fix such fundamental human problems.

Only we can do that.