Julie was a winner.

Her eyes were made of stars
that had fallen off the sky
and they twinkled every time
she smiled.

She had dreams, and ambitions,
she did not ride on high horses,
she did not trust the words of great men,
but followed her own sense of direction.

She loved life,
and a boy who never could understand
what love actually meant.

Like flowers in spring,
her madness grew in vivid colors
and she could feel the surge
in her veins.

She was a like a flower.

And like a flower in the fall,
today was the day,
she decided to die.

She took a deep breath,
and drowned herself in cold lavender-scented bathwater,
falling into the forgotten forevers
to lie quietly, finally complete.

Julie wasn't a lie,
she was just me.

The poetry doesn't come easy lately
From the time you asked me why
In such a frustrated manner that I recoiled
It used to be so easy, you know
With the distance between us
Bridged by your crazy laugh
And my smug smile
Perhaps because poetry is not the words
But the emotions that mandate enjambments
And fill the spaces between the verses
The space is now too big
The lines too abruptly cut
That it ceases to become poetry
And it becomes emptiness.

in a town in which I've never been
you light a cigarette and try to smoke me out of your mind
while I sit here, my ashtray filled with pencil stubs
from trying to write my arms around you

I haven't slept since you left
I've spent my nights searching for the sun
for if I found it, I'd climb right on top
so I could be with you in the morning

but my mornings remain rivers after a storm
memories flowing by like debris
I can't reach them without falling in
so I stand and watch them go

its the watching I can't stand
watching your hand slip from mine
watching the wrong time
convince us that we can't be together

I feel helpless, hopeless
these days hold me prisoner
the hurt trying to torture remorse from my lips
but I will never regret the days I spent with you

when I was with you
you looked at me like there was no past or future, only now
you listened to me like I was Buddha preaching the Eightfold Path
you spoke to me like I was memorizing your every word, cause I was

you hugged me
you held me
you kissed me
like I’m a boy you had a crush on became I’m a boy who loves you

but here I’m a boy who misses you

as the wind blew us together,
the rain shall sweep us away
and come fall we’ll be leaves of different colors

i just want to tell you
that for how forcefully my gut protests at the thought of letting you go
I cannot hear its cries when I think of the time I spent with you

you took my heart in your hands, you broke it in and stretched it out,
and then you gave it back
here, you said,
it is ready

in the land of darkness
where the young girl stays
all alone day after day
when one day brings a wonderful surprise
a cute little bunny with big brown eyes
she rejoices and hugs the bunny with glee
for there is no one happier then she
minute by minute the world seems to brighten
and she looks around at first very frightened
then she realizes with hope renewed
color is returning anew
she is so happy she could surely cry
so she hugs her little bunny and her soul starts to fly
she is one with the earth, the land, the air, and the sea
she is one with the birds, the deer, the rabbits, and bees
for now she knows what living really is like
its having a connection with all that is life

How do you do it?
Give your love away so easily
So freely
Only a few times we met
And yet you bid me farewell
With an
I love you

I thought maybe
It had slipped out
Too late to be caught
In the heat of the moment
To be followed by distraught

But you said it everytime
Signed it like your name
At the end of every message
At a point where I think
I don't even know you yet

You don't even know me yet
But what I know is that
Love is too strong a word
To be distributed prematurely

Love is too strong a word
To be used so often
Oh my god I love this
Soon to be discarded

The special kind of love
The one where you really mean it
Is always present
It need not be announced

Love is spontaneous
And unexpected
Not necessarily repeated
Said like you mean it

*it's like the more you use something the cheaper it becomes. It sort of loses its effect and becomes common or habitual.

I constantly feel cold nowadays
Because the passion that kept me sweaty
Is all gone
Or maybe because the rain won't stop
And it washes away my resolve
But your eyes are awash with the warmth
Of laughter and interest
I thought you dropped me
Like what you do with all your gym classes
Apparently you picked me up again
And to tell you the truth
You're the only thing that keeps me going
In this winter of inspiration
When I feel like all the elements are conspiring against me
And the cold is tearing through my sweater
Through my shirt
So you take my hand when you see me shiver
And you pull me into your embrace
What comforting warmth lies inside your arms
I wish I could stay in them forever
I am reluctant to leave and face the outside world
So you just smile at me and kiss me in the forehead and tell me
'There, so you could keep warm'
I'd feel okay then and prop my collar
It's freezing but I'm ready now.