It's 2am and her mind wanders.
She thinks about the things she could have done.
The words said wrong.
The battles she could have won.

She goes back and relives those moments.
Moments when she was miserable
Moments that made her smile
She pens them down and tears wipe the ink away.

She thinks of the people who left her
The people who never stayed.
The people who used her like a tissue
The people who threw her out of their way

It's 3am and her mind still wanders
She thinks if the people whom she holds close to her heart are actually close.
She thinks if anybody cares.
She thinks if people know the real her.
And all she can think of is big no.

She thinks of the tears shed.
Her skin with cuts she fed.
Her memory is indeed her greatest enemy.

And when I look into the mirror she looks away
I've lost her,I lost her when I was silent,
I lost her when they made me the prey
She left me and I started caring no more.
Maybe I don't even know her any more


She was the girl who cared for everyone
The heaven lost,the devil won.
I can't drown my demons they know how to swim.
Her demons, how did she even trim?


Without her I'm dead but I'm alive.
I probably lost half of her when I was just five.
Where is she? Where is the real me?
My eyes are blind I just can't see.


I remember there was nothing that made her fear.
They used her like a paper and made a tear.
I can't find her but I want her back.
Ha! The real me? They threw her out in a sack!

And I knew this girl,
She straightened, she curled
Just to meet up the idea of beauty
To impress others she felt it was her duty.

She was fat and chubby,
Nevertheless she was always called grubby.
She never fit their idea of beauty
Ha! How she thought it was her duty!

Size zero was something she wanted but never got.
And so all they did was leave her to rot!
She hated herself for the way she looked.
But who knew, deep inside real beauty she cooked.


Her beauty was inevitable
But how the world saw her was terrible.
So what if she never fit their idea of beauty?
Little did she know,it was never her duty!