Last night, deep
In sleep before the heater
I had a dream
. . .
You were in it
We rolled on the floor
Clothed, close
I kissed you

You took it with your dark lips open
But pulled back after just one
Your words were, "You hurry too much"
Eyes wide, I sighed, "What have I done?"

Were it isolated I wouldn't think twice
But I wake to wind at the window
In a moonless night
The stars aren't enough to see where I've gone
Lacking illumination I repeat my wrongs
And caress against a pillow
To pretend I'm warm

Last night, deep in dreams before the heater
I dreamt a scene
. . .
You weren't in it
Weeks ago we played
Naked
On the bed

Too infrequent for cravings
When joined and apart
Your words were, "You don't care if I
Live or I die"
So you withheld your invite
Eyes wide, I sighed
And keep sighing

How do you measure me?
How do you measure this?
Why would you
Hide inside
To try?

Body against my aching bones.
Breath I've waited so long to feel whispering down my neck sweetly.
Stuck scents
Warm lips, heavy hands.
Under nights sheets I forget everything.
I forget how badly i was breaking
I forgot how long you knew My heart ached for you
I forgot how much i knew down inside that you would take anyones love besides from mine.
I forgot
because
I need you.
Sweet lady, dripping in life
If you only knew
Through the cold nights, alone
I think of you, filling me up to the brink.
I hear your body and melt to nothing
Love!
The word so often used but never knowing fully
Dying
You don't know, nor understand.
That without you here, i can barely breathe.
After seeing your face today
dark
pale
You granted me no smile
No laughter
Even your pitiful Awes hurt.
My poems, my music
Everything sounds so stupid now.
Pointless.
Empty.
Because all i keep hearing is your voice
All i keep thinking about
Long conversations
Wrapping your arms around me every day.
I need that again.
I can wait longer.
I feel almost crazy.
Being this way.
I know what it is.
The love throbbing through me.
How dumb are you?
Still not seeing that i love you so **** much that i could cry for hours and still not get everything out.
Perfect to others, but to you.
Nothing.
Nothing but a common friend.
I fret thinking what I'm doing wrong.
What I'm not doing right.
Then sit emotionless, wondering why Someone
Someone who has never even had an inch of love for me in this world filled of billions
Someone who will possibly never feel the same for me
Someone who sees me as just.
As just another person just passing through.
I could care about
love
adore
need being there.
They say the first one hurts.
Then i think back to that night.
You still felt nothing.
I feel pathetic.
I feel stupid.
I feel so much.
I dont even know what to do, or say to you.
You act like you just want me to leave.
So hard explaining to you that i can't
so i write stupid horrible poems about love.
"Love"
What is love?
Something red?
Blue?
Love is everything
every piece
every smile
every hug
every song
Love is you.