Daddy had just bought himself a nice white button down top and a pair of dress pants, which are black as night.
To top off his dashing outfit, he also got a nice black and gray stripped sweater.
For once in his life, looking a bit formal.

His youngest offspring chose a beautiful floral dress, with bright pick flowers on it. To top off her formal wear, she found a pair of moccasins. Which are to be worn with white socks.
Not completely formal, but it's formal enough for semi-formal.

However,
daddy was angry.
Who was he to have to dress up for his youngest?
Who was he to have to attend an event-
a ceremony-
which mommy had no intention of attending anyway?
Why was he the one that that to go and be at this event?
An event where it was finally signalizing that his youngest was almost done high school, a milestone in anyone's life...

And so, daddy allowed his emotions to be heard.
He made sure everyone heard them,
the people within ear shot,
the people next door,
and the people down the block.

And the totals of the event are in,

Four tokens to be wasted to get to this venue.
Twenty dollars wasted on tickets.
About maybe under a hundred dollars wasted on clothes.
And the little girl's sadness wasted on feelings.

Who was she to be sad over parents not wanting to watch her get her class ring?

we're not quite acquaintances
and we're not quite friends..
however, we're not quite strangers either

i know your name
and you know mine

you have the basic idea of who i am
and i enjoy your company greatly

but you don't know my hobbies, you don't care to ask about them either
and i don't know yours-
besides your constant intoxication of your body

but, perhaps
this is the start of something

something astonishing.

im going to drown myself in thoughts you
because the beauty of the human mind is,
i can think about you as much as i want
and not receive a smart comment about how disappointed everyone is
because you have such a foul reputation

and i can sit next to you and mentally undress you

and you'll never know.

i know a girl
with a heart as wide as the grand canyon
and always the best intentions in mind

i know a girl
she's as sweet as candy
with a smile larger than a light year

i know a girl
she's got the greatest mind
not even Albert Einstein's ideas can compare to her thoughts

i know a girl
who i love to talk to
who's as understanding as a therapist
because she's able to comprehend everything.

i know a girl
who i am blessed to know
who i don't deserve to know
who i was lucky enough to befriend
who i am lucky enough to call my best friend
who i am lucky enough to even communicate to

i know a girl
who's undoubtedly far more amazing than
any celebrity or historical figure
or even a religious figure

because, she's herself.
and she better not change that
ever.

it's better to just stay home
where everything is familiar
and nothing is uncomfortable

it's better to stay home
where you feelings are safe
and stress is at it's highest

it's better to stay home
where you can hate yourself in peace
and wish for death alone.

everything is too much
far too much for me.

there is
far too much expected of me
far too much to be done
far too little time

there's not enough time to live
and there is
far too many people to disappoint

oh, i just wanna die.

Alex.
Such a common name, yet you are far from a 'common' person to me.
you're everything good one can possess crumbled into one beautiful exterior.

you are the very peak of mount everest
something so many people try to reach, but always fail because it's too hard
one day though, the strong person will reach the top
and you'll find your perfect match

you are strong, beautiful, warm-hearten, and so ******* cuddly
i'm honored to be in your presence
i love you
i really love you

i'm so happy to know  you, really

well yeah, i can't end this but
i love you

'are you ready for another bad poem?'

i need you.
but i don't know you

i dream of you at night
i don't know your middle name

i need to hold your hand
but you need to get high

it's never going to work
but i won't even try

you                    you             you you you you          you                           you
you                    you             you                you          you                           you
you                    you             you                you          you                           you
you                    you             you                you          you                           you
you                    you            you                you          you                           you
    you                you            you                you          you                           you
            you you                   you                you          you        ­                   you
              you                         you                 you          you                           you
              you                         you                 you          you                           you
              you                         you                 you          you                           you
              you                         you  you you you          you  you  you  you  you

i'd like to write a poem about how i feel
but that's been done a thousand times.

i'd like to write a poem about how a dumb boy makes me feel
but that's been done a thousand times.

i'd like to write a poem about how the sunshine makes me dread staying in all day long
but that's been down a thousand times.

i'd like to write about how much a person makes me hate myself
but that's been done a thousand times

i'd like to write a poem about how much i hate myself and feel emotionally dead
but that's been done a thousand times

i'd like to write a poem about how everything has been written about
how everything is overused and overrated
how life is just about repeating emotions and acting on impulse
which you regret later on
but of course
that's been done a thousand times

i'm broken glass
shattered beyond belief
unable to be put back together.

because the tiniest pieces just won't fit together
and there's far too many pieces to be put together
anyway.

This year, I plan to become a new me.
A happier me.
A more cheerful me.
A more pleasant me to be around.

Because old me was so last year.

For a while, I was in the mind frame that the scariest thing that could've happened to me was dying.
But in actuality, the scariest thing anyone can ever do is live.
Because really, what's so scary about taking a lifelong nap and not failing at your dreams
or having your heart obliterated by the love of your life?
Or watching your loved ones slowly die
day by day, by day?

I am no longer a human.
I am an animal.

An animal who feeds on sadness.
Who thrives for nothing but deep melancholy.
A melancholic, if you wish.

I thrive for the feeling where you feel nothing.
Not even a spec of eagerness or a dash of enthusiasm.

Because at that point, you're suddenly interesting.

All humans are born with a purpose

but what if i can''t find mine?

What would become of me, a human with no track?

Would I live out on the streets with the animals?

Would I become a successful doctor with the cure for cancer?

Would I become an actor, staring in the brand new bestselling book saga?

Would I just die, and live in the dirt with the worms?

Or would I stay here, writing a ******* poem about how much I ****?

Or maybe, just perhaps, I'd fade away and die.

You're imperious, brusque, pugnacious and seemly ominous.
You're nothing but trouble.

I hate you.

You're just a drug wrapped into the shell of a human being without a care in the world
A pill killer wrapped into a shell that's secretly dejected.
A butterfly who's inside wing is morosely designed to hide everything inside.  

*I hate you

I'm not going to write about you.
No, you don't deserve it.

I'm not going to write about you,
because you're already stuck in my mind.

I'm not going to write about you
because I hate every perfect thing about you.

I'm not going to write about you
because i couldn't put you in words

I'm not going to write about you
because the words won't dance off the page and form you

I'm not going to write about you
-
I'm not going to write about you
because you wouldn't care anyway