I'm not sure why I think this way
But it seems to be the only way I think
There is no right or wrong
No left or right
No up or down

My mind is lost
In a pool of thought
No one knows the thoughts I've thought
No one but me
And I leave it that way

I silently wish for a new day
But they are all the same
Same people
Same places
Same stuff
Everyday

And my mind continues
Pondering
Wondering
loosing itself in its own though

I try to grasp onto the slight hope
Of what I call reality
The only reality I will know
The light that once was shined
Through the darkness

I begin to miss that light
that light that brought me happiness
joy
and love

Now I am here
In the darkness
The darkness of my reality
The only thing I will ever know

The things I once knew
Are now lost
Old habits begin to start

And slowly
My mind
Becomes darker
darker than absolute black

And there is nothing.

Why is it so hard
To find someone
Who always make me want to smile
And always think about them
Drawing pictures on my bedroom floor

Why is it so hard
To feel the feeling that I really want to feel
It’s just physical attraction
And it really doesn’t go

Nothing
It’s just nothing
I’m numb
I’m torn
I’m unsure

Nothing
I want something
But this heart of mine
Just won’t let you in.

I’m gonna kiss you in the bedroom
Hold your hand when we’re alone
But never show my love
Anywhere that’s not behind
Closed doors

I hope that one day
We could
Go together
Somewhere far away
And I’ll realize
That you’re the one
I want here to stay
But for now I’m feeling

nothing
It’s just nothing
I’m numb
I’m torn
I’m not sure

Nothing
I want to feel something
But this heart of mine
Just won’t let you in.

It’s not you
It’s me
That old cliché
I forever wish I could
Feel the same way

It’s physical attraction
but my heart is set emotion
I’m hurting you
And all I feel is

Nothing
It’s nothing
I’m numb
I’m torn
I’m not sure

Nothing
I want something
But this heart of mine
Just won’t let you in.

Why is it so hard
To find someone
Who always make me want to smile
And always think about them
Drawing pictures on my bedroom floor.

Life doesnt have map
If it did we would all follow it
Yet what fun would that be
Everyone taking the same road...

Though I should be;
oblivious to the world
I choose to spend
the time awake.
It's silent,
It's dead,
It's nothing.
All excepting that strained figure
hunched in front of their screen.
Like me

I write things that are stupid
and she likes to disagree.

I think these rhymes are putrid
yet, they fill her up with glee.

Now, somewhere inside me
A little life is left
A new heartbeat has woken up
I came to know that I am alive
That kind of dedication is there in this moment
This moment was not mine

It is in front of me
Should I die or should I live?
Should I kiss the happiness or should I cry a little?
Should I die or should I live?

Now, somewhere inside me
A little life is left
The body which was burning in the sun
Has got the shade of a tree
Like the smile of an angry child
Has bloosomed after cajoling
My heart can feel something like that
Like ointment has been applied on an ages old wound
That kind of mercy is there in this moment
This moment was not mine
It is standing in front of me
Should I touch it?
Should I die or should I live?
Should I kiss the happiness or should I cry a little?
Should I die or should I live?

Like the kite which has been cut of from the string
Was my life
Today is mine, tomorrow may or may not be mine
That was my story everyday
A new bond is calling me now from behind
Why is tomorrow worrying me?
One ***** like this
Is there in this moment
This moment was not mine
It is standing in front of me
Should I touch it?
Should I die or should I live?
Should I kiss the happiness or should I cry a little?
Should I die or should I live?

There's something
in your smile

that leaves me lingering
for a long while

and as I start that
tiresome home bound mile

I can't help but remember
standing on your kitchen tile

And gazing upon
that smirk full of guile

all those familiar
feelings compiled.

Darling you left me
quite beguiled.